The scene:
Mr. M and Queen, drunk on couch watching Spanglish.
Mr. M: What did she say?
Queen: I don't know I missed it.
M: Give me the framus. (rewinds DVR 10 seconds)
Q: I still have no idea
M: Me either (rewinds DVR 10 seconds)
Q: Huh?
M: I MUST KNOW WHAT SHE SAID (rewinds DVR 10 seconds, 7 more times)
Q: Maybe you should turn subtitles on
M: (frantically searches framus) I don't see any subtitle button
Q: Well I know we've used subtitles before
M: GODDAMN IT I MUST KNOW WHAT SHE SAID (rewinds DVR 10 seconds, 15 more times) (pounds couch)
Q: Sorry babe, but it's not gonna happen.
... 5 days later ...
The setting: Mr. M is yelling something down the stairs to Queen:
Mr. M: gurbleblahtoofaraway
Queen: I can't hear you, what?
M: glkjhaoiythfnmk
Q: (mutes TV)
M: I said I love you
Q: Thanks, hey dumbass
M: Dumbass? What?
Q: Guess how you turn subtitles on
M: How?
Q: Hit the mute button.
M: Goddamnit, now I gotta watch Spanglish again.....
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Thankschilling 2005
This was, without a doubt, the single worst Thanksgiving in the history of ever, at least of those involving my family. Of course, there was no expectation that we would (again) be at least a partial lightning rod for my younger brothers' disdain, but we managed to be shocked, surprised, and highly offended again.
Reminding you of some history about which you may already be aware - in the aftermath of my craptastic divorce and continuing custody battle - I made a job change and relocated to Virginia to make the best possible life for myself and to put myself in the best possible position to continue to fight for what's best for my children, meet my court-ordered obligations, and get on with things. Doing so meant sacrificing a little bit of time that I *may* (emphasis added) have had with my kids otherwise. There are a lot of very relevant, very pertinent details that would take forever to explain at this point, so I won't. Understand that my oldest brother (#1 and annual Thanksgiving Day host) has been very supportive, very understanding and nothing has changed regarding our relationship with them. My two younger brothers (#3 and #4), the one's who themselves have some scary skeletons in their closets... have been extremely judgemental while at the same time refusing to educate themselves on the realities of my circumstances.
We arrive to find that my youngest brother (#4) is already on the warpath, selfishly, because it was raining outside, my brother, mother, and sister-in-law were tied up with a 2-year old child, some TGiving Day preparation, and/or preparing themselves for the arrival of guests. Apparently, their answers and speed with which they got the garage door open so that he could bring his cooler of beer inside while staying as dry as possible "set him off." He was rude, obnoxious, cursing, and being an all-around pain-in-the-dick... and this was just the first hour.
Still, we were happy that both he and his wife greeted us with smiles when we arrived (very shortly after their arrival) as the previous 3 times we've had interaction with them (moreso him) - have been downright miserable. He has acquired a very short fuse, a vicious mouth, and has been generally unfun to be around. Unfortunately, today would be no exception.
The issues that started the day off had simmered down. Soon, my father and his wife arrive. #1's in-laws arrive (Mom & Dad, Sis & her hubby). My bro (#3) and his wife and my two nieces arrive.
Queen, having the foresight to bring activities for the children to do, spends a great deal of time with them, as do I. This turns out to be extra-smart, because there is that continued uncomfortable feeling in the air. We're sensing the "cold-shoulder" from bro's #3 & #4 since 3's arrival. My SIL (married to #3) hasn't really spoken to us at all and there has been no meaningful interaction between us, #3, #4 or their SOs. Still, we're managing to have a great time talking to #1 and family, his in-laws, my mother, father and his wife. Of course, playing with the kids is great fun, too.
Then a series of events occurs that leads to some serious ugliness... ugliness for which I am embarrassed for my family, ashamed of my youngest brother, and very sorry that Queen (and every other guest there) had to endure. It starts with the sudden departure of my father and his wife. They get up and don their jackets and my father approaches me. We exchange a hug and kiss and he tells me that they are leaving and asks... How are you guys doing? (meaning Queen and I). I tell him that I am a "a little aggravated" at the ongoing ignorance of the younger two, but we're not letting it bother us. He says, Yeah, well I'm aggravated about it, too. I just want to make sure you're all right. We're leaving. I walk them to their car and off they go. I'm not sure that they even know what had transpired as I type this, but they will be glad to know that they missed it.
Just before the main dinner is about to be served, I'm sitting at the table in the kitchen. Queen is standing nearby. And bros #3 and #4 are having a discussion about the arrangments (or lack thereof) for our annual "Dad's Christmas Dinner with the Sons" arrangements. I overhear this conversation and #4's wondering whether or not he should make the reservations because Dad hasn't said anything about it. I chime in...
M: I wouldn't go making any arrangements until you've talked to Dad first.
#4: Why not?
M: Well, I've had a recent discussion with him about it, and he just doesn't seem interested in doing it this year or perhaps anymore.
#4: Why did he say that?
M: Well, in his words, he is just "tired of all of the BS."
#4: What BS?
(Queen interjects... and all hell begins to break loose)
Queen: (laughing) Wow there's a lot of denial in this room.
(#4's face turns beat red)
#4: (loudly) You mean this BS?! This kind of BS?!?! Is this the type of BS he's talking about? (Pointing at Queen who has since moved towards the dining room)
M: Yes, exactly this type of BS. That is, the way you're acting right now.
#4: No, that comment was uncalled for!
M: (Remaining calm) It was accurate. You mean to tell me that you really don't know what BS he speaks of?
#4: Your girlfriend has a big mouth! It's that kind of crap that causes problems!
It spirals out of control, #1 is getting pissed as this outburst is occurring in front of everyone. His language is getting worse and we're going back and forth... me calmly, him loudly. His just "going off" about me, my moving, my relationship, Queen's comment... and this tirade culminates in him actually challenging me to a fight. He actually says to me, Let's take this outside. You want to take this outside? Let's take it outside.
I tell him yes, I want to take it outside... however it is not to "answer the bell" - it's to get him away from the guests, the children, because he clearly has no regard for the sanctity of Thanksgiving, and no respect for anyone at the dinner table. When we get outside, he's still loud and boorish and getting in my face about how unnecessary Queen's comment was. I'm getting back in his face telling him that we're not out here because of any of that, and that we're out here because his behavior is completely uncalled for, embarrassing, and he really needs to get control of himself before we go back inside. He just doesn't seem to care that there were guests, children, a lot of people within earshot and eyeshot of his hysteria. He seems hung-up on my acknowledging that Queen's comment was "unnecessary." So, I give in, if only slightly by telling him Sure, her comment was not "necessary" - but it was accurate. Given the events of the past year, Dad doesn't want to have to contend with any bullshit the likes of which you are demonstrating here. So no matter how "unnecessary" her comment may have been, take a look in the mirror and recognize the truth in her "unnecessary comment."
He was demanding that I tell her to apologize to him, which I absolutely refused to do because of his treatment of us (as well as #3s treatment of us) dating back to the infamous "uninvite" he offered Queen to his annual Christmas open house last year. (If you want to refresh your memory, go back to the December 2004 archive).
With that, things simmer down and we go back in and take our places the dinner table... everyone having already done "Grace" in our absence - food was even already being served. Not lost on me was the seating arrangement, which saw Queen and I down one end of the table with the children and SIL #1 (thankfully)... while #3 and #4 (and their spouses) were up the other end of the table with #1. I don't know if this was by specific design or not, nor do I care, it was just something I noticed (as did Queen).
Dinner itself progresses nicely, everyone eats themselves content, everything seems to be smooth. There are some smiles and good conversation. After dinner I move to the kitchen and I am preparing a cup of coffee for myself when #4 asks if I will join him in going down to the basement, he tells me that he would just like to clear the air and give you my position on a couple of things. Being the sucker that I am, I grab my cup and head to the basement with him figuring, having had time to calm down, he will attempt to more calmly express what it is that is bothering him about me, my relationship with Queen, whatever the hell it is that has given him reason to "have it in" for me.
It turned out to be a barrage of judgements and assumptions and similar that were tossed at me at an ever increasing volume. I stood there straight-faced and let him rant. When I saw what appeared to be the moment that it was my turn, I started to give him my "shocked and saddened by your hypocrisy speech" when he gets louder and doesn't allow me to speak. I say to him let me know what you are finished and it is my turn to talk to you as I deserve the same opportunity that I am affording you.
I hear him make highly inaccurate or otherwise disingenuous comments like...
You've shoved Queen down everyone's throat! We've been in the company of #4 precisely 4 times dating back to last Christmas... Christmas dinner to which we're invited by my father... a wedding for a cousin of mine... a funeral... and Father's Day. Hardly shoving anyone down anyone's throat and she wasn't even introduced to them until 5+ months into our relationship.
You were dating her while still married to my sister-in-law, and like it or not your "then wife." This is just so stupid it was difficult to even want to dignify with an answer. He didn't like her while now claiming differently. He saw some of the shit she did/said first-hand. The marriage was over long before she filed for divorce (11 months before Queen was even introduced). She ended... she was dating people... and yet here he was acting like she was some sort of close friend of his for whom he was so distraught about losing.
She has no business commenting about Psychex or rolling her eyes about her when we were talking about her the first time we were introduced! Umm... yes, she did. She was involved, was witness to many of the events that had transpired since we met each other (and even before that as I shared some on a favorite bulletin board we had both frequented) and seen stacks of stuff written in Psychex's own words. Still he was having none of this.
When I started getting into him about his hypocrisy, gross lack of information (and how chock-full of misinformation he was)... and calling him out regarding his treatment of me and others in the family over the course of the last year, he just went off... calling Queen (to me) a fucking whore and other choice names... calling me a classless father and lousy father and saying things like some father you are... just a load of the most insulting, mean-spirited things I've had the misfortune of having anyone say to me since... well, since I was married to Psychex.
He began to retreat to the upstairs as I followed after him telling him how embarrassing and insulting he was and how he was a coward because he could get all big and loud and threatening while pontificating his position on things for which he is seriously lacking in information while continuing to be unwilling to hear and/or see the reality... retreating rather than giving me the same courtesy of "talk time" as I've just afforded him. When we get upstairs he is still ranting and he and Queen have a short exchange with him telling her that she has a big mouth and that she should shut her big mouth and mind her own business and such. He goes to the closet to get his jacket and I approach him one last time and whisper in his ear as he repeatedly says get off of me, get away from me... I tell him, "don't think I don't know what you were doing. You had no intention of clearing the air down there, you've been waiting 9 long months at least to cut me out of your life completely. Next time, just be a man and tell me that's what you want instead of ruining everyone's holiday with your antics." With that, he just leaves, which is good as during this whole final exchange upstairs, I'm quietly pleading with #1 to ask him to leave. He was out of control and making everyone uncomfortable, and frankly, I'm surprised that #1 didn't chuck him earlier and was hesitating to ask him to leave given his language and volume. Twice I said, "#1, you really need to ask him to leave, he is way out of control and just won't stop."
I cannot begin to tell you how difficult it was for me not to rearrange his face. But embroiled in a custody battle, I can ill afford having the police called on me, end up injured myself... my children are right upstairs... giving him what he deserved, unfortunately, was not possible at this time. It would be the understatement of the year to say that I showed a great deal of restraint, but I was determined to avoid looking like the asshole that everyone clearly believed he is at this point during the day.
In the aftermath, we're in the kitchen... #1, me, Queen, my mother... and we're all speculating as to what has this kid so friggin' angry and uptight. Someone comments how unfair it is for him to be so judgemental of me given what I've gone through, and that this has to stop, though we're at a loss as to how. We talk about how embarrassing he was and #3 from the dining room suddenly has to shoot his mouth off saying, While you're all sitting there talking about how judgemental he is being, you're doing the same thing to him - being judgemental. I look at him and say, NO, not quite, what he did here today is fact, he was acting like a crazy man and he is being judged on those facts. That's a lot different than what he's done to me and Queen. He cowards out by saying that he doesn't want to discuss it any further to which I told him that he should have kept his mouth shut. He and Queen then have a short exchange in the kitchen which I attempt to defuse, and #3 just clams up and heads into the living room.
Needless to say, #1 says that this won't ever happen again and that everyone can make some other plans for future Thanksgivings because this was just not nice, not fair, and completely unacceptable. He also said he would be dropping #4 a line because he needs to be set straight that nothing like that will ever happen in his home again. We'll see how that goes because #1 typically means what he says and has the skills and abilities to follow-thru on his words.
He feels terrible. I feel awful and I did make every effort to remove #4 from the general vicinity of the guests in order to speak his mind. You might be wondering why I didn't just shut up. It was a great idea and the one I first took, but it wasn't stopping him. He just kept going... which is why I "took it outside" and subsequently "took it downstairs." I don't know what's wrong with #4, but it's not looking like we'll speak ever again and that is the biggest shame in all of this. I've done nothing to either one of them to deserve the treatment I get from them (and Queen most certainly hasn't), but I get it and it's just enough already.
I'm sure that there are some details missed and feelings not articulated... but we'll get around to it now that this monstrosity is posted for all to see.
Here's hoping your Thanksgiving was way better than ours. ;-)
Reminding you of some history about which you may already be aware - in the aftermath of my craptastic divorce and continuing custody battle - I made a job change and relocated to Virginia to make the best possible life for myself and to put myself in the best possible position to continue to fight for what's best for my children, meet my court-ordered obligations, and get on with things. Doing so meant sacrificing a little bit of time that I *may* (emphasis added) have had with my kids otherwise. There are a lot of very relevant, very pertinent details that would take forever to explain at this point, so I won't. Understand that my oldest brother (#1 and annual Thanksgiving Day host) has been very supportive, very understanding and nothing has changed regarding our relationship with them. My two younger brothers (#3 and #4), the one's who themselves have some scary skeletons in their closets... have been extremely judgemental while at the same time refusing to educate themselves on the realities of my circumstances.
We arrive to find that my youngest brother (#4) is already on the warpath, selfishly, because it was raining outside, my brother, mother, and sister-in-law were tied up with a 2-year old child, some TGiving Day preparation, and/or preparing themselves for the arrival of guests. Apparently, their answers and speed with which they got the garage door open so that he could bring his cooler of beer inside while staying as dry as possible "set him off." He was rude, obnoxious, cursing, and being an all-around pain-in-the-dick... and this was just the first hour.
Still, we were happy that both he and his wife greeted us with smiles when we arrived (very shortly after their arrival) as the previous 3 times we've had interaction with them (moreso him) - have been downright miserable. He has acquired a very short fuse, a vicious mouth, and has been generally unfun to be around. Unfortunately, today would be no exception.
The issues that started the day off had simmered down. Soon, my father and his wife arrive. #1's in-laws arrive (Mom & Dad, Sis & her hubby). My bro (#3) and his wife and my two nieces arrive.
Queen, having the foresight to bring activities for the children to do, spends a great deal of time with them, as do I. This turns out to be extra-smart, because there is that continued uncomfortable feeling in the air. We're sensing the "cold-shoulder" from bro's #3 & #4 since 3's arrival. My SIL (married to #3) hasn't really spoken to us at all and there has been no meaningful interaction between us, #3, #4 or their SOs. Still, we're managing to have a great time talking to #1 and family, his in-laws, my mother, father and his wife. Of course, playing with the kids is great fun, too.
Then a series of events occurs that leads to some serious ugliness... ugliness for which I am embarrassed for my family, ashamed of my youngest brother, and very sorry that Queen (and every other guest there) had to endure. It starts with the sudden departure of my father and his wife. They get up and don their jackets and my father approaches me. We exchange a hug and kiss and he tells me that they are leaving and asks... How are you guys doing? (meaning Queen and I). I tell him that I am a "a little aggravated" at the ongoing ignorance of the younger two, but we're not letting it bother us. He says, Yeah, well I'm aggravated about it, too. I just want to make sure you're all right. We're leaving. I walk them to their car and off they go. I'm not sure that they even know what had transpired as I type this, but they will be glad to know that they missed it.
Just before the main dinner is about to be served, I'm sitting at the table in the kitchen. Queen is standing nearby. And bros #3 and #4 are having a discussion about the arrangments (or lack thereof) for our annual "Dad's Christmas Dinner with the Sons" arrangements. I overhear this conversation and #4's wondering whether or not he should make the reservations because Dad hasn't said anything about it. I chime in...
M: I wouldn't go making any arrangements until you've talked to Dad first.
#4: Why not?
M: Well, I've had a recent discussion with him about it, and he just doesn't seem interested in doing it this year or perhaps anymore.
#4: Why did he say that?
M: Well, in his words, he is just "tired of all of the BS."
#4: What BS?
(Queen interjects... and all hell begins to break loose)
Queen: (laughing) Wow there's a lot of denial in this room.
(#4's face turns beat red)
#4: (loudly) You mean this BS?! This kind of BS?!?! Is this the type of BS he's talking about? (Pointing at Queen who has since moved towards the dining room)
M: Yes, exactly this type of BS. That is, the way you're acting right now.
#4: No, that comment was uncalled for!
M: (Remaining calm) It was accurate. You mean to tell me that you really don't know what BS he speaks of?
#4: Your girlfriend has a big mouth! It's that kind of crap that causes problems!
It spirals out of control, #1 is getting pissed as this outburst is occurring in front of everyone. His language is getting worse and we're going back and forth... me calmly, him loudly. His just "going off" about me, my moving, my relationship, Queen's comment... and this tirade culminates in him actually challenging me to a fight. He actually says to me, Let's take this outside. You want to take this outside? Let's take it outside.
I tell him yes, I want to take it outside... however it is not to "answer the bell" - it's to get him away from the guests, the children, because he clearly has no regard for the sanctity of Thanksgiving, and no respect for anyone at the dinner table. When we get outside, he's still loud and boorish and getting in my face about how unnecessary Queen's comment was. I'm getting back in his face telling him that we're not out here because of any of that, and that we're out here because his behavior is completely uncalled for, embarrassing, and he really needs to get control of himself before we go back inside. He just doesn't seem to care that there were guests, children, a lot of people within earshot and eyeshot of his hysteria. He seems hung-up on my acknowledging that Queen's comment was "unnecessary." So, I give in, if only slightly by telling him Sure, her comment was not "necessary" - but it was accurate. Given the events of the past year, Dad doesn't want to have to contend with any bullshit the likes of which you are demonstrating here. So no matter how "unnecessary" her comment may have been, take a look in the mirror and recognize the truth in her "unnecessary comment."
He was demanding that I tell her to apologize to him, which I absolutely refused to do because of his treatment of us (as well as #3s treatment of us) dating back to the infamous "uninvite" he offered Queen to his annual Christmas open house last year. (If you want to refresh your memory, go back to the December 2004 archive).
With that, things simmer down and we go back in and take our places the dinner table... everyone having already done "Grace" in our absence - food was even already being served. Not lost on me was the seating arrangement, which saw Queen and I down one end of the table with the children and SIL #1 (thankfully)... while #3 and #4 (and their spouses) were up the other end of the table with #1. I don't know if this was by specific design or not, nor do I care, it was just something I noticed (as did Queen).
Dinner itself progresses nicely, everyone eats themselves content, everything seems to be smooth. There are some smiles and good conversation. After dinner I move to the kitchen and I am preparing a cup of coffee for myself when #4 asks if I will join him in going down to the basement, he tells me that he would just like to clear the air and give you my position on a couple of things. Being the sucker that I am, I grab my cup and head to the basement with him figuring, having had time to calm down, he will attempt to more calmly express what it is that is bothering him about me, my relationship with Queen, whatever the hell it is that has given him reason to "have it in" for me.
It turned out to be a barrage of judgements and assumptions and similar that were tossed at me at an ever increasing volume. I stood there straight-faced and let him rant. When I saw what appeared to be the moment that it was my turn, I started to give him my "shocked and saddened by your hypocrisy speech" when he gets louder and doesn't allow me to speak. I say to him let me know what you are finished and it is my turn to talk to you as I deserve the same opportunity that I am affording you.
I hear him make highly inaccurate or otherwise disingenuous comments like...
You've shoved Queen down everyone's throat! We've been in the company of #4 precisely 4 times dating back to last Christmas... Christmas dinner to which we're invited by my father... a wedding for a cousin of mine... a funeral... and Father's Day. Hardly shoving anyone down anyone's throat and she wasn't even introduced to them until 5+ months into our relationship.
You were dating her while still married to my sister-in-law, and like it or not your "then wife." This is just so stupid it was difficult to even want to dignify with an answer. He didn't like her while now claiming differently. He saw some of the shit she did/said first-hand. The marriage was over long before she filed for divorce (11 months before Queen was even introduced). She ended... she was dating people... and yet here he was acting like she was some sort of close friend of his for whom he was so distraught about losing.
She has no business commenting about Psychex or rolling her eyes about her when we were talking about her the first time we were introduced! Umm... yes, she did. She was involved, was witness to many of the events that had transpired since we met each other (and even before that as I shared some on a favorite bulletin board we had both frequented) and seen stacks of stuff written in Psychex's own words. Still he was having none of this.
When I started getting into him about his hypocrisy, gross lack of information (and how chock-full of misinformation he was)... and calling him out regarding his treatment of me and others in the family over the course of the last year, he just went off... calling Queen (to me) a fucking whore and other choice names... calling me a classless father and lousy father and saying things like some father you are... just a load of the most insulting, mean-spirited things I've had the misfortune of having anyone say to me since... well, since I was married to Psychex.
He began to retreat to the upstairs as I followed after him telling him how embarrassing and insulting he was and how he was a coward because he could get all big and loud and threatening while pontificating his position on things for which he is seriously lacking in information while continuing to be unwilling to hear and/or see the reality... retreating rather than giving me the same courtesy of "talk time" as I've just afforded him. When we get upstairs he is still ranting and he and Queen have a short exchange with him telling her that she has a big mouth and that she should shut her big mouth and mind her own business and such. He goes to the closet to get his jacket and I approach him one last time and whisper in his ear as he repeatedly says get off of me, get away from me... I tell him, "don't think I don't know what you were doing. You had no intention of clearing the air down there, you've been waiting 9 long months at least to cut me out of your life completely. Next time, just be a man and tell me that's what you want instead of ruining everyone's holiday with your antics." With that, he just leaves, which is good as during this whole final exchange upstairs, I'm quietly pleading with #1 to ask him to leave. He was out of control and making everyone uncomfortable, and frankly, I'm surprised that #1 didn't chuck him earlier and was hesitating to ask him to leave given his language and volume. Twice I said, "#1, you really need to ask him to leave, he is way out of control and just won't stop."
I cannot begin to tell you how difficult it was for me not to rearrange his face. But embroiled in a custody battle, I can ill afford having the police called on me, end up injured myself... my children are right upstairs... giving him what he deserved, unfortunately, was not possible at this time. It would be the understatement of the year to say that I showed a great deal of restraint, but I was determined to avoid looking like the asshole that everyone clearly believed he is at this point during the day.
In the aftermath, we're in the kitchen... #1, me, Queen, my mother... and we're all speculating as to what has this kid so friggin' angry and uptight. Someone comments how unfair it is for him to be so judgemental of me given what I've gone through, and that this has to stop, though we're at a loss as to how. We talk about how embarrassing he was and #3 from the dining room suddenly has to shoot his mouth off saying, While you're all sitting there talking about how judgemental he is being, you're doing the same thing to him - being judgemental. I look at him and say, NO, not quite, what he did here today is fact, he was acting like a crazy man and he is being judged on those facts. That's a lot different than what he's done to me and Queen. He cowards out by saying that he doesn't want to discuss it any further to which I told him that he should have kept his mouth shut. He and Queen then have a short exchange in the kitchen which I attempt to defuse, and #3 just clams up and heads into the living room.
Needless to say, #1 says that this won't ever happen again and that everyone can make some other plans for future Thanksgivings because this was just not nice, not fair, and completely unacceptable. He also said he would be dropping #4 a line because he needs to be set straight that nothing like that will ever happen in his home again. We'll see how that goes because #1 typically means what he says and has the skills and abilities to follow-thru on his words.
He feels terrible. I feel awful and I did make every effort to remove #4 from the general vicinity of the guests in order to speak his mind. You might be wondering why I didn't just shut up. It was a great idea and the one I first took, but it wasn't stopping him. He just kept going... which is why I "took it outside" and subsequently "took it downstairs." I don't know what's wrong with #4, but it's not looking like we'll speak ever again and that is the biggest shame in all of this. I've done nothing to either one of them to deserve the treatment I get from them (and Queen most certainly hasn't), but I get it and it's just enough already.
I'm sure that there are some details missed and feelings not articulated... but we'll get around to it now that this monstrosity is posted for all to see.
Here's hoping your Thanksgiving was way better than ours. ;-)
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Little tidbits
Mr. Vagina, aka, Mr. M is the shiznit. We finally got gas delivered for the fireplace, and after tearing the entire thing apart, he got it lit. He also got it put back together.
Spanglish rocked. Mr. M even loved it and he's left it in the DVR for like FOREVER because he didn't want to watch it. I love Adam Sandler. He is also the shiznit.
We are off to philly in the morning to celebrate Thanksgiving with Mr. M's family. It will be interesting with half of the family that loves us and talks to us, and the other half that pretty much thinks we don't exist. I have yet to pack. I'm so not the shiznit.
I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving! As an exit, here is my list of things to be thankful for:
My children
A sane ex-spouse
Mr. M (these are in no particular order, obviously)
My family
Law and Order reruns
DVR capability
The ability to have a beautiful home, or any home
My health
Hot chocolate
Cantina D'Italia's Fettuccini Mediterranean
Damn, now I'm hungry and I STILL GOTTA PACK.....
Spanglish rocked. Mr. M even loved it and he's left it in the DVR for like FOREVER because he didn't want to watch it. I love Adam Sandler. He is also the shiznit.
We are off to philly in the morning to celebrate Thanksgiving with Mr. M's family. It will be interesting with half of the family that loves us and talks to us, and the other half that pretty much thinks we don't exist. I have yet to pack. I'm so not the shiznit.
I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving! As an exit, here is my list of things to be thankful for:
My children
A sane ex-spouse
Mr. M (these are in no particular order, obviously)
My family
Law and Order reruns
DVR capability
The ability to have a beautiful home, or any home
My health
Hot chocolate
Cantina D'Italia's Fettuccini Mediterranean
Damn, now I'm hungry and I STILL GOTTA PACK.....
Saturday, November 19, 2005
All I See Is Vagina.
I want to take a moment to make light of what was a mentally taxing experience - the "psychological testing" for which my Psychex and I agreed to subject ourselves to in order to see who is nuts. Maybe it's both of us, I understand that we'll soon see.
I went into this open-minded and making sure that I did this with the utmost honesty. Besides some of these tests having "built-in bullshit detectors" - I truly do want to find out what, if anything, is screwed up with me.
I had to take the ink-blot test, another test involving being show pictures and I have to tell them what story is taking place based upon the characters and content, and the 5-billion question MMPI2.
I truly did everything honestly, but I did have a breakdown on the ink-blot test, I simply couldn't help it. I don't know if any of you have taken it, but it's pretty straightforward... 12 or 13 cards with ink smudged on them, some just plain black, others with additional colors. I consider myself a pretty creative thinking individual and with a background in photography, I tend to look pretty deeply at photos, pictures, and in this case - ink-blots.
I told what I saw. What I wasn't forthright about was what I did see and seemed to see it on every ink-blot. Vagina. The following examples aren't my exact answers but give you a flavor.
What I saw and said...
Card 1 - Looks like a fox head, there's the ears here and eyes and blah blah blah.
Card 2 - Looks like a dress, here's the top, this part looks like a skirt... blah, blah, blah...
Okay, that's enough... that's pretty much how it went for all of the cards.
Of course, there is the little part I left out... what I was initially thinking and not saying...
Card 1 - ...and that looks a lot like a vagina right there.
Card 2 - ...I don't know about you, but this part here looks like a vagina.
Card 3 - ...This also has the general shape of that picture you see in health class... the woman's body, this area looks like the cervix and... I'll be damned, that looks like a vagina.
Card 4 - ...it looks like an angel praying... an angel with her vagina hanging out.
Card 5 - ...vagina.
Card 6 - ...vagina.
Card 7 - Now damnit... that's a vagina!
Card 8 - This one is different, it looks like two lizards climbing...................... over a vagina.
Card 9 - Vagina.
By card 10, I was beginning to think I was about to get punk'd. Truly, with about 1 or 2 exceptions, I saw vagina in every ink-blot. Out of sheer fear of being branded a potential rapist or sex fiend or something... I never mentioned all of that sweet, sweet vagina. Not one time.
Which means the doctor will probably conclude that I'm gay. Dumbass.
I went into this open-minded and making sure that I did this with the utmost honesty. Besides some of these tests having "built-in bullshit detectors" - I truly do want to find out what, if anything, is screwed up with me.
I had to take the ink-blot test, another test involving being show pictures and I have to tell them what story is taking place based upon the characters and content, and the 5-billion question MMPI2.
I truly did everything honestly, but I did have a breakdown on the ink-blot test, I simply couldn't help it. I don't know if any of you have taken it, but it's pretty straightforward... 12 or 13 cards with ink smudged on them, some just plain black, others with additional colors. I consider myself a pretty creative thinking individual and with a background in photography, I tend to look pretty deeply at photos, pictures, and in this case - ink-blots.
I told what I saw. What I wasn't forthright about was what I did see and seemed to see it on every ink-blot. Vagina. The following examples aren't my exact answers but give you a flavor.
What I saw and said...
Card 1 - Looks like a fox head, there's the ears here and eyes and blah blah blah.
Card 2 - Looks like a dress, here's the top, this part looks like a skirt... blah, blah, blah...
Okay, that's enough... that's pretty much how it went for all of the cards.
Of course, there is the little part I left out... what I was initially thinking and not saying...
Card 1 - ...and that looks a lot like a vagina right there.
Card 2 - ...I don't know about you, but this part here looks like a vagina.
Card 3 - ...This also has the general shape of that picture you see in health class... the woman's body, this area looks like the cervix and... I'll be damned, that looks like a vagina.
Card 4 - ...it looks like an angel praying... an angel with her vagina hanging out.
Card 5 - ...vagina.
Card 6 - ...vagina.
Card 7 - Now damnit... that's a vagina!
Card 8 - This one is different, it looks like two lizards climbing...................... over a vagina.
Card 9 - Vagina.
By card 10, I was beginning to think I was about to get punk'd. Truly, with about 1 or 2 exceptions, I saw vagina in every ink-blot. Out of sheer fear of being branded a potential rapist or sex fiend or something... I never mentioned all of that sweet, sweet vagina. Not one time.
Which means the doctor will probably conclude that I'm gay. Dumbass.
Humping the air
So we have Mr. Spike this weekend. He made the trip to Philly with us and was perfect. He enjoyed his walk and the trip to the lake, and the boys have been chasing him around all day. Mr. M is still not thrilled however, and there may be a reason:
Mr. M: Did I tell you about our old dog K sleeping in our room?
Queen: No
M: Well, Psycho always had him sleep in her bed but I put a stop to that, but he was allowed to stay in the room, until..
Q: Uhhuh, you don't like people or animals watching you right?
M: Well watching was fine, and psycho said it's not like he's going to join in. But one day I turned around and he was humping air. And he was fixed.
Q: Well Mr. Spike is fixed and he still humps, and he's also gay.
M: I knew he was gay just by the way he looks at me.....
Mr. M: Did I tell you about our old dog K sleeping in our room?
Queen: No
M: Well, Psycho always had him sleep in her bed but I put a stop to that, but he was allowed to stay in the room, until..
Q: Uhhuh, you don't like people or animals watching you right?
M: Well watching was fine, and psycho said it's not like he's going to join in. But one day I turned around and he was humping air. And he was fixed.
Q: Well Mr. Spike is fixed and he still humps, and he's also gay.
M: I knew he was gay just by the way he looks at me.....
Friday, November 18, 2005
Where in the world is Wal..err, I mean Rae?
Rae has had a lot of change in her life. Including moving from Florida, where I would visit her, to Canada, where there isn't a snowball's chance in hell of me visiting her. She also took a corporate position and has a new man. All of which means much less time to keep up with things like blogging and chatting. I hope she returns someday, God knows I'm boring everyone to death.
We took the kids out to dinner last night since they are spending the weekend with the STBEH for his birthday. They have both handled the divorce pretty well, but they still ask questions about once a week. The Princess started last night:
Princess: Mom, why did you leave Daddy alone?
Queen: (Stares at her blankly for a split second.)
Princess: Or would I not understand it?
Queen: Well you wouldn't completely understand it, but right now really isn't an appropriate time to discuss it as we are enjoying dinner before you leave.
Princess: Okay, we'll talk about it later.
Queen: (turns and whispers to Mr. M) What seven year old asks if she won't understand something adult? She's way too mature for her own good.
True to her word, as soon as I woke her up this morning:
Princess: Mom you remember that question I asked you last night?
Queen: Yes darling. You won't understand a lot of it until you are older, but Daddy and I just have different interests, and we both want to be happy.
Princess: Right, like he is obsessed with football. But couldn't you just let him do his stuff and go do something else?
Queen: Yes, I could do that, but that's not what marriage is about all the time. I wanted a partner who wanted to do things with me.
Princess: Well I'm going to keep working on you.
Queen: Well, you can keep trying, but it's not going to work sweetheart. But you will always have two parents that love you and make sure you get to spend the most amount of time with both of us. That's very important.
Princess: Yes, I'm very thankful for that (she's on the thankful for thanksgiving kick right now), but I'm still gonna try.
Goodness she's so freaking cute. She's also eating like it's her last meal everyday, I think she's going to be 5 feet tall by next week. We are off to pick the boys up tonight, then I'm heading to my parents tomorrow night or Sunday morning for my sister's baby shower, which FUCK I went to Target to get her giftcard AND COMPLETELY FORGOT IT. I suck so fucking hard.....
We took the kids out to dinner last night since they are spending the weekend with the STBEH for his birthday. They have both handled the divorce pretty well, but they still ask questions about once a week. The Princess started last night:
Princess: Mom, why did you leave Daddy alone?
Queen: (Stares at her blankly for a split second.)
Princess: Or would I not understand it?
Queen: Well you wouldn't completely understand it, but right now really isn't an appropriate time to discuss it as we are enjoying dinner before you leave.
Princess: Okay, we'll talk about it later.
Queen: (turns and whispers to Mr. M) What seven year old asks if she won't understand something adult? She's way too mature for her own good.
True to her word, as soon as I woke her up this morning:
Princess: Mom you remember that question I asked you last night?
Queen: Yes darling. You won't understand a lot of it until you are older, but Daddy and I just have different interests, and we both want to be happy.
Princess: Right, like he is obsessed with football. But couldn't you just let him do his stuff and go do something else?
Queen: Yes, I could do that, but that's not what marriage is about all the time. I wanted a partner who wanted to do things with me.
Princess: Well I'm going to keep working on you.
Queen: Well, you can keep trying, but it's not going to work sweetheart. But you will always have two parents that love you and make sure you get to spend the most amount of time with both of us. That's very important.
Princess: Yes, I'm very thankful for that (she's on the thankful for thanksgiving kick right now), but I'm still gonna try.
Goodness she's so freaking cute. She's also eating like it's her last meal everyday, I think she's going to be 5 feet tall by next week. We are off to pick the boys up tonight, then I'm heading to my parents tomorrow night or Sunday morning for my sister's baby shower, which FUCK I went to Target to get her giftcard AND COMPLETELY FORGOT IT. I suck so fucking hard.....
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Change, it's inevitable
Yesterday our nanny of three years handed in her two week notice. She's moving an hour away. Every other week my children will now have to get up at 5am in order to be dropped off by dad at my house. They will then be dropped off at the bus stop and the Prince will go to daycare for 2 hours before afternoon kindergarten. I will likely be able to pick them up after school each day except when I have clients, in which case they will be in aftercare for about an hour. During dad's weeks I will then have to drive them to his house an hour later. It sucks. They shouldn't have to get up at 5am.
The STBEH also decided today that he can no longer keep our dog due to his work hours and extra car time now that the nanny has quit. Mr. M doesn't want a dog, I don't really want a dog, but the kids will be extremely upset if they can no longer see Mr. Spike. My ex-MIL is thinking about taking him and we are putting the word out to my family as well. I've asked Mr. M if we could take him for the weekend and see how it goes, but I know he's against it.
Of course most of these problems could be half-way to completely solved if the STBEH would just look for a job here. He says it everyday, and yet does nothing about it. He has his next cornea transplant finally scheduled for Dec 5th, and supposedly will be working on his resume then. We'll see.....
The STBEH also decided today that he can no longer keep our dog due to his work hours and extra car time now that the nanny has quit. Mr. M doesn't want a dog, I don't really want a dog, but the kids will be extremely upset if they can no longer see Mr. Spike. My ex-MIL is thinking about taking him and we are putting the word out to my family as well. I've asked Mr. M if we could take him for the weekend and see how it goes, but I know he's against it.
Of course most of these problems could be half-way to completely solved if the STBEH would just look for a job here. He says it everyday, and yet does nothing about it. He has his next cornea transplant finally scheduled for Dec 5th, and supposedly will be working on his resume then. We'll see.....
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
You're covered
Another interesting call with Psycho Mom tonight. Yes, I got sucked in. Not mentally, but she was just being so damn funny I had to join in. But this is the best part, the part where she tries to convince me that Mr. M is so horrible, and blah, blah, blah, and impotent.
(AND IN BIG LETTERS, just to protect the innocent, MR. M IS SO NOT IMPOTENT. Seriously. Do any of you really think I would stay with someone who was? I thought not.)
Psycho Mom: Are you telling me he's not impotent?
Queen: Yes, I'm pretty damn sure he's not impotent.
PM: Well he certainly was with me, and it's something I've never experienced before or after.
Q: Well maybe you should think about what part you may have had in it.
PM: Umhmm, you're funny
....
5 minutes later in the conversation
....
Mr. M: We didn't have sex for like 4 years.
PM: Don't let him fool you Queen, we had hot sex.
Q: Wait a minute, you had hot sex while he was impotent?
PM: Well, I had to give him blow jobs everyday.
Q: While he was impotent?
PM: Well it was the only way he could get it up.
Q: Oh, okay, so what you are saying is that he wasn't impotent, but that he could only get turned on while looking at the top of your head, versus the rest of your body?
Oh how she loves me, she really, really loves me.....
(AND IN BIG LETTERS, just to protect the innocent, MR. M IS SO NOT IMPOTENT. Seriously. Do any of you really think I would stay with someone who was? I thought not.)
Psycho Mom: Are you telling me he's not impotent?
Queen: Yes, I'm pretty damn sure he's not impotent.
PM: Well he certainly was with me, and it's something I've never experienced before or after.
Q: Well maybe you should think about what part you may have had in it.
PM: Umhmm, you're funny
....
5 minutes later in the conversation
....
Mr. M: We didn't have sex for like 4 years.
PM: Don't let him fool you Queen, we had hot sex.
Q: Wait a minute, you had hot sex while he was impotent?
PM: Well, I had to give him blow jobs everyday.
Q: While he was impotent?
PM: Well it was the only way he could get it up.
Q: Oh, okay, so what you are saying is that he wasn't impotent, but that he could only get turned on while looking at the top of your head, versus the rest of your body?
Oh how she loves me, she really, really loves me.....
Sunday, November 13, 2005
They call it progress
So, I've been meeting a lot of people lately, mostly as new clients. And it's strange when you are working in a small town, as I've either heard of a lot of them or met friends of theirs, or even been meaning to contact them on other matters. Wednesday I had a client, so I go over and we get to talking about the improvements they've been doing in the community and what we are waiting to have done. The country club is a big concern as it's supposed to have been redone for like the past 20 fucking years, okay, at least 5. So anyway, we start talking and it suddenly dawns on me that I know her from the newsletter and have been meaning to e-mail her about the volunteer group. I find out they are having a meeting on Saturday morning to talk about the renovations. Mr. M and I attend, and as always, EVERYONE there is at least 20 years older than us, most of them 30+ years.
The meeting didn't progress much but at least we have a sense of what needs to happen, though of course no deadlines were set by the board. The problems are going to be many though. First of all, this is a growing community even though most of the old residents are, well, old. The new residents however, are younger families, so the needs of the club really need to be considered. There are thoughts on a childcare center, as well as other community rooms for classes. Everyone agrees on a new snack bar/kitchen as there is NOTHING anywhere near the community. All of these are great ideas, EXCEPT that no one has thought of how these separate areas are going to be funded after the reconstruction. The corporation could take them over, but I have no faith in that, plus it would mean an increase in fees YET AGAIN, or they could be separate businesses leased into the country club, but they would have to be fairly well managed plus they likely won't gross much in the next few years as there are still only about 600 homes here. Of course, when I even mentioned these problems, no one wanted to take them into consideration until after the reconstruction.
Then there are the people that want to demolish the entire building and build a completely new one. Once everyone looked at the bids for renovation and rebuild, it was hard to not laugh. The bids for a new building are $50 more a square foot and over 4000 square feet less than the existing building. I don't know why that makes sense to anyone, but at least no one at the meeting wanted to go that option, and there were enough board members there to make the vote stick if it comes to that.
Hopefully with this new task force and the volunteers everything will be kicked off in the new year and we'll be able to enjoy it by next summer.....
The meeting didn't progress much but at least we have a sense of what needs to happen, though of course no deadlines were set by the board. The problems are going to be many though. First of all, this is a growing community even though most of the old residents are, well, old. The new residents however, are younger families, so the needs of the club really need to be considered. There are thoughts on a childcare center, as well as other community rooms for classes. Everyone agrees on a new snack bar/kitchen as there is NOTHING anywhere near the community. All of these are great ideas, EXCEPT that no one has thought of how these separate areas are going to be funded after the reconstruction. The corporation could take them over, but I have no faith in that, plus it would mean an increase in fees YET AGAIN, or they could be separate businesses leased into the country club, but they would have to be fairly well managed plus they likely won't gross much in the next few years as there are still only about 600 homes here. Of course, when I even mentioned these problems, no one wanted to take them into consideration until after the reconstruction.
Then there are the people that want to demolish the entire building and build a completely new one. Once everyone looked at the bids for renovation and rebuild, it was hard to not laugh. The bids for a new building are $50 more a square foot and over 4000 square feet less than the existing building. I don't know why that makes sense to anyone, but at least no one at the meeting wanted to go that option, and there were enough board members there to make the vote stick if it comes to that.
Hopefully with this new task force and the volunteers everything will be kicked off in the new year and we'll be able to enjoy it by next summer.....
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Sick
as.a.dog.
Is how I spent the last two days, as well as my children, Mr. M's children, my grandmother, my sister, and probably everyone else who attended the birthday party. Today I can move finally, and I have two new clients, plus this apartment building to close on. I'm skipping the Las Vegas convention next week - I'm so sorry Rae and Greg! I just can't give the energy and committment when I really feel like I will gain nothing by going except a hangover from drinking all week. I can do that here.
Right now Mr. M is dealing with Psycho Mom being a fucking cunt. And I say Mr. M because I'm no longer dealing with it. I give him my one over feeling, and that's it. I just can't devote more time to her. She will never change, nothing I do will change her or the situation, and I need to focus on other things, like the interaction with my children when the boys are here. What I really want right now is to go somewhere with Mr. M, even if it's just a long weekend. Unfortunately that's not going to happen because any free time or days off of work, are saved for dealing with Psycho Mom and custody. In two words: It Sucks.....
Is how I spent the last two days, as well as my children, Mr. M's children, my grandmother, my sister, and probably everyone else who attended the birthday party. Today I can move finally, and I have two new clients, plus this apartment building to close on. I'm skipping the Las Vegas convention next week - I'm so sorry Rae and Greg! I just can't give the energy and committment when I really feel like I will gain nothing by going except a hangover from drinking all week. I can do that here.
Right now Mr. M is dealing with Psycho Mom being a fucking cunt. And I say Mr. M because I'm no longer dealing with it. I give him my one over feeling, and that's it. I just can't devote more time to her. She will never change, nothing I do will change her or the situation, and I need to focus on other things, like the interaction with my children when the boys are here. What I really want right now is to go somewhere with Mr. M, even if it's just a long weekend. Unfortunately that's not going to happen because any free time or days off of work, are saved for dealing with Psycho Mom and custody. In two words: It Sucks.....
Monday, November 07, 2005
Moving on up
The bank accepted my offer on the four-plex! I think we are closing this Friday, so our weekend will probably be spent in Pittsburgh, deciding what to do, crying that we took on too much, etc.
The birthday party went really well. It was the first time Mr. M got to meet the STBEH's father and stepmom, and everyone got along really well. They both took me aside and said they really liked him, and he even got a kiss from the stepmom when they left! Yea! It's so nice to be in a family that can act reasonable through divorces.
Speaking of unreasonable divorces. After the party Mr. M and the boys had to get up early and head back to Philly. Mr. M had his psych testing scheduled in the afternoon. He wasn't thrilled when he left her office, and it will probably take him a couple of days to decompress, but at least it's over and we are closer to an answer than we were before.....
The birthday party went really well. It was the first time Mr. M got to meet the STBEH's father and stepmom, and everyone got along really well. They both took me aside and said they really liked him, and he even got a kiss from the stepmom when they left! Yea! It's so nice to be in a family that can act reasonable through divorces.
Speaking of unreasonable divorces. After the party Mr. M and the boys had to get up early and head back to Philly. Mr. M had his psych testing scheduled in the afternoon. He wasn't thrilled when he left her office, and it will probably take him a couple of days to decompress, but at least it's over and we are closer to an answer than we were before.....
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Happy birthday to P&P
It's been a difficult week. And I have no idea why. I'm so happy, the only thing that could possibly make my life better is to win the lottery and be able to move to the Virgin Islands. But I haven't felt like getting out of bed, I've had to make myself exercise, and my house needs cleaned so badly it's not funny.
Work sucks because of the new bankruptcy laws. I do a lot of sales in the industry and the new laws have scared everyone shitless. Not good for sales. Also more work for me to update content for everyone since everything is now different. Hopefully it will calm down once the media stops fucking hyping the changes. The only good it's doing is increasing the amount attorneys earn and the stress compounded on the poor people who need to file. Of course, the credit card companies are laughing all the way to the bank. Fuckers.
I'm also waiting for a decision on an offer I made on a four-plex. The bank that owns it came back with a counter offer, and I sent back a counter to that, so I should know today. Once I get that closed on I have to make a trip up to Pittsburgh and decide what to do with it. It needs renovating, so I'll either flip it or start the renovations. Fun, fun, fun!
We also have the birthday party this weekend. Picking up the boys tonight since they don't have school tomorrow. I'll be running my ass off getting the cakes, food, and wrapping the presents during the day, then it's off to the new soccer session with the kids, and then cleaning all night. I can't wait to see the cakes though. I kind of go a little nuts on them every year. They've had sand castle cakes, a spider man cake with spider webs coming down it, complete with buildings, M1 had a mack truck on oreo cookie wheels this year, it was so cute. This time the Prince is getting a dragon, not so outlandish but cute, and the Princess is getting a barbie cake. It has a real barbie doll in it and the cake is her skirt. Very, very cute.....
Work sucks because of the new bankruptcy laws. I do a lot of sales in the industry and the new laws have scared everyone shitless. Not good for sales. Also more work for me to update content for everyone since everything is now different. Hopefully it will calm down once the media stops fucking hyping the changes. The only good it's doing is increasing the amount attorneys earn and the stress compounded on the poor people who need to file. Of course, the credit card companies are laughing all the way to the bank. Fuckers.
I'm also waiting for a decision on an offer I made on a four-plex. The bank that owns it came back with a counter offer, and I sent back a counter to that, so I should know today. Once I get that closed on I have to make a trip up to Pittsburgh and decide what to do with it. It needs renovating, so I'll either flip it or start the renovations. Fun, fun, fun!
We also have the birthday party this weekend. Picking up the boys tonight since they don't have school tomorrow. I'll be running my ass off getting the cakes, food, and wrapping the presents during the day, then it's off to the new soccer session with the kids, and then cleaning all night. I can't wait to see the cakes though. I kind of go a little nuts on them every year. They've had sand castle cakes, a spider man cake with spider webs coming down it, complete with buildings, M1 had a mack truck on oreo cookie wheels this year, it was so cute. This time the Prince is getting a dragon, not so outlandish but cute, and the Princess is getting a barbie cake. It has a real barbie doll in it and the cake is her skirt. Very, very cute.....
If I had a nickel for everytime I heard this...
Well, at least he got to dork you with a banana.....
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
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