Yea um hey

Okay so Mr. M is picking up the boys tonight. I'm not there since the kids have school tomorrow morning. So that has given me the opportunity to a) be by myself b) get drunk by myself c) have to really, really fucking use spell check. So, a) Psycho Mom has delayed Mr. M even though *I* did her a fucking favor by watching the kids tomorrow, and b) I have the chance to watch Wedding Crashers by myself, while drinking Vodka. Yea I'm having fun and I totally fucking had a point for this post and I have totally fucking lost it. Seriously, I hear my children snoring and sniffling, but no idea what I wanted to say. I'm drunk, and I miss Mr. M, and I hate Psycho Mom. Oh now I remember. I love this movie except for ONE thing. The asshole boyfriend of the one chick, totally fucking is the EXACT image of one of Mr. M's brother AND I FUCKING HATE HIM. It's crazy. I'm not a person who follows actors or actresses, but whenever I see this guy I want to hurt him, badly, more badly than I type when I'm drunk, which if you saw the first draft of this post you would realize is pretty fucking serious. Wow, I'm drunk and Mr. M is going to pissed when he reads this.

and now this is a sentence i'm typoing while runk whitout using the backspace bar o r spelcheck because I need to see exactly how drunk I am. Wo w I did good ton the last part terhere.....I totally laughes after tha periods there

Freeeeeeeeeee as a bird

The weekend was awesome, very relaxing, hogging, I mean, visiting with the baby.

Yesterday was spent catching up on things and trying to find a fighting point for Mr. M's custody case. One of Psycho Mom's main arguments is that if he moves back to PA she will give him 50% custody (though of course she had never offered that when he DID live there), she tells anyone who will listen that it's the truth. We knew better. Yesterday we offered to spend 50% time in PA with the boys, and guess who said she couldn't agree to it? And guess why? Money of course. Because as we already knew, if he has 50% she gets less money and she can't have that, she's already bankrupted herself. Of course she did offer him the chance to move in with her, lmfao. For a woman who is so happy now that he's gone and is sleeping with so many hot, attractive, rich, smart men, it's amazing how many times she asks him to move back to be with her.

Today, at 8am, my divorce was granted. I'm free.....

Paybacks

This weekend Mr. M left for an errand and he decided to put in a movie for the kids. Not just any movie.

Battlestar Gallactica.

Yea. That's what I said.

Next weekend it's my turn. The Prince and Princess will be visiting our old nanny for the weekend because they all miss each other. So the boys will be watching a movie of my choice.

Kids Bop.

The videos.

Yea. That's what I said.

Give me 5 minutes

You know, every month I set my sights on the week or day where I actually have nothing to do. I can sit, I can catch up on work, I can make all the phone calls I'm stockpiling, I can catch up with long lost friends (Great news Rae, wish I had heard it sooner.), I can maybe watch a movie. And everytime that time comes, something else has come up.

This week was supposed to be my week off, no clients, nothing. The kids had off Monday and Tuesday, no free time there, had a meeting last night, today the STBEH has a doctor's appointment and guess who's relegated to drive him since he's still blind? Moi. Tonight we have another meeting and no one to watch the kids, so they will be up late and extremely bored. Tomorrow we have a divorce hearing, and I can't possibly make it if I have to drop the kids off at the bus stop, so they will be going with us and will be going to school late. And Friday I had a call for an emergency for a client, there goes my afternoon. The weekend will be in PA to visit my sister and the baby, which they don't even know yet because I haven't had time to call my Grandmother.

On top of that, Mr. M had two doctors appointments this week, and he now has his hand in a cast. If you'll recall he's had swelling for about 3 years now and never wanted to have it fixed because it would mean not being able to ride the motorcycle or play hockey. Well he finally had it looked at again. He only let them put the cast on with the promise that if he wanted it off they will cut it off immediately. He wanted it off within an hour. There are no surgical options at the moment, so it's pray for the cast to work, or deal with pain management for the rest of his life.

We also have a big project we are working on, but I'm not jinxing it by telling you guys yet. We are very excited and if it works out, we will have a lot more time together and with our children, we can't wait...

Its not wrong.

Today, today I almost beat the shit out of a kindergartner, in front of 50 people. The Prince was calmly waiting for his bus to arrive. He was the second kid out of a car, but the first in line because the other kid is basically a headless chicken with ADHD during a national shortage of Ridalin. He's always running in front of cars, seeing how far he can throw and/or kick his backpack, and seeing exactly what limit he has to reach before his fat old mother puts her book down and gets out of her car that is parked in the handicap spot although she is clearly not handicapped.

So today he starts kicking his backpack as usual. He does this about 20 times until it finally hits Prince's leg. Prince kicks it back. Monster child picks it up and slams it into Prince's chest. I'm getting out of my car at this point. Prince pushes him away and stands calmly. Monster child then rears back as hard as he can and swings the backpack into Prince's lower body. Lucky for Monster child his fatass mother opens her car door and calls him over, and there is one tiny folder in his backpack so he can't really hurt Prince. I can't hear what the conversation consists of, but she ends it with yelling out the door to everyone in the bus line "hey boys keep your hands off each other." Umm, yea, that's not gonna fly. Monster child gets back in line and sees me standing there watching him. He stares at me. He looks at Prince. He stares at me. He tells Prince I'm standing there. Princes comes over to me, gives me a hug and says that he didn't start it and that monster child lied to his fatass mom and said he did. I assure Prince I saw the whole thing and he's not in trouble. I send him back to the line.

Thirty seconds later the bus begins to pull in, and Monster child is still staring at me. Right when the bus doors open he pushes back on Prince and I'm on top of him. He got one warning, next time he won't be so lucky.....

I think they need a reprieve

Yesterday the STBEH had his second cornea transplant. It went well and he is returning home today with his Mommy so he can be taken care of for a couple of days. I also took both kids to the doctor, the Prince was fine (thought he might have strep), but the Princess has an appointment with the dermatologist on Thursday. The pediatrician wasn't sure what her rash was but thinks it may actually be psoriasis, which is very unusual in children, but according to psoriasis.org does happen. I hope it's not, I hope it's something that can be treated and go completely away, but we'll deal with it no matter what.

Now I'm simply asking for NO MORE MEDICAL PROBLEMS FOR MY FAMILY. Thanks in advance whoever is listening.....

Find out what it means to me

Yea, um, if you are pulled over for a DUI, and you try to beat the police, and they have to use force to arrest you, and your face now looks like a Gorilla practiced baseball with your head, you should really not invite the media INTO YOUR HOME and then request that people "respect [your] privacy." It smacks of something, I can't put my finger on it, damn it's gone.....

Remembering

The first...
The chair...
The widow's peak...
The jeans...
The kitchen...
The wall...
The first time on my back...
The first time over your face...
Oh. My. God.....

Award for dumbest invention goes to

There is a special place in hell for the inventor of the canister vacuum. As if it's not difficult enough to push a vacuum, drag it up and down the steps, keep the cord from getting under the machine, not run into walls, some jackass creates the vacuum the encompasses TWO large parts that you have to drag around. I guarantee, it was a man, one who had never vacuumed a square foot in his life.....

The Invisalign Experience

I just started the third set of aligners. Starting a new set sucks. I only have 11 on top and 13 on bottom, whereas most people have over 30, that means only a 6 month prison sentence for my teeth. I'm taking photos because Mr. M is making me, so I'll have a complete timeline at the end. Of course I forgot to take them this time when I switched sets, so Mr. M is currently doing it, at.this.moment. Literally, right.now. Okay that's over.

It's been a little weird. The first set they do is basically to line up the little cement markers, so it didn't hurt when they went on. It hurt my tongue and a bit on my gums since they weren't used to having hard plastic over them. My sister gave me the tip of using a metal nail file to soften the edges and that worked very well with the first set. It only took about 5 days to get used to those and the second set was easier with only about a day to get used to them. Basically I down about 20 Ibu's and then chomp down on the aligners to get used to them. The problem is the right side bottom teeth. The very last two in the back, my wisdom teeth actually, yes I still have them, aren't very tall. The aligners were made to kind of go up at an angle, unfortunately it's not the exact angle that they go up at and so I can't close my mouth completely when I first put them in. In response, I chomp down on them to kind of train them to stay down. This makes them cut into my gums. You know how babies act when they are teething? That's what I feel like doing EVERY TIME I put in a new set of aligners. I WANT TO FUCKING SCREAM. And I'm so totally sure Mr. M has had about enough of me complaining that my teeth hurt when I spent THOUSANDS of dollars to have this done.

So, the other fun part is still having to take them out everytime I eat. I cheat. I've tried eating Wendy's Chili with them in. That was fun until I had to wait 2 hours until we had a rest stop where I could brush my teeth. Let me tell you I never wish to relive the smell that I was accosted with when I took those babies out. Thankfully no one else was in the bathroom. I've learned that I need to get through about 10 hours with a set the first time I put them in before I can take them out regularly to eat. It's very hard to explain, but it feels like my teeth are in a straight jacket while I have them in, and the pain is AWFUL for about a minute when I put them in, BUT THEN when I take them out it's like all my teeth are suddenly loose and free but they don't know what to do. And that's EVEN MORE PAINFUL. So for the first day I try to stick to soup and bread.

I've ripped one cement marker out already, on accident of course. I don't know exactly when it happened but I remember taking them out once and feeling such awful pain I thought I was going to pass out, pretty sure that's when it was ripped off. Hopefully next time I'm at the ortho they can put it back on.

My only concern is the color of my teeth. As you all know, I'm kind of anal. The whiteness of my teeth is at the top of my anal list. EVERYONE comments on the whiteness of my teeth. When I attend parties, everyone asks how I keep them so white. I don't drink coffee, rarely finish a cola by myself, brush after drinking red wine, and have never smoked. But now I have these things in my teeth that literally hold everything I drink right next to my teeth. I'm very paranoid about this. I brush my teeth about 12 times a day now. I should probably be looking at the price of Colgate's stock.....

I defy you to not want one

Sunday morning I got up and drove 4 hours to my parents. I usually try to desperately avoid the house on New Year's Day so I can avoid smelling like sauerkraut for a week. Germans, what were they thinking when they invented that dish?

After the dinner we drove another hour to the hospital to see my new neice. She is adorable. A full head of jet black hair, which she'll probably lose. Right now she looks like Dad, as much as anyone can tell anyway. She was able to eat for the first time that night and did really well. It put her right to sleep and then we woke her up before we got kicked out for the nurse rotations and she ate again.

The doctor came in briefly while we were there. Surgery may be scheduled for today and the prognosis is excellent. She will likely be in the hospital at least a week after the surgery, but then all should be perfect.

Driving home I had to make a pros and cons list about having another baby, and make sure I said nothing to Mr. M about even remotely thinking about putting a bun in the oven. He needs no ideas put in his pretty little head.....