On Saturday we had to drive 2 hours to pick up some gym equipment we bought from a club that has closed. But first we had to find a Uhaul. This was not as easy as it seems. I booked it online at the nearest location, a scant mile down the road. The system said someone would call, and they did, telling me they would call back by 8 or the next morning to confirm a truck. I never got a call back, so the next morning I called the city I was supposed to pick it up in. They never heard of me, and all their trucks were gone.
So I called the central location and asked what happened, they had sent the reservation to a town THIRTY miles away. So I call to make sure it's there, they've never heard of me either. She looks it up, and it pops up right in front of her, as they had just sent it when I called 2 minutes before that. At this point I'm a little pissed seeing as how I have no idea where this town is, or even at this point how far away from where I'm going it is. I ask if they are giving me extra mileage since I know it has to be pretty far since it's in a different county. She's not sure.
So we hop in the car after printing directions and luckily hit zero traffic on Memorial Day weekend, driving straight through Northern Virginia, DC and Maryland, it's a miracle. When we get there she gives us an extra 150 miles, plus an extra 2 days due to the holiday. Great! And then, THEN, T.H.E.N. they want a finger print. Yes, a FINGER PRINT. To rent a fucking UHaul. Mr. M says good luck with that and watches as I sign my life away, no longer able to carry dead bodies to the woods in the UHaul.....
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Thursday, May 25, 2006
The bitch is fucking nuts
Some of you may recall the vacation fiasco of last summer. As usual, Psycho Mom has rearranged events in her mind. Short story of last year:
Psycho Mom says she will come pick up the boys at our home so she can see where they live and head to the beach with them. She is supposed to be here at 9am. Instead she decides to call the police and say we are holding the kids hostage because we now won't drop them off in Philly when we have in WRITING that she is coming to get them. She then goes on the rampage and gets HER FAMILY to call and leave threatening voicemails wherein they supposedly have the district attorneys from two different counties driving down with police backup to get the kids *insert rolleyes here*. Of course it's all a bluff and she has to get off her fatass and come get the kids herself, she gets here around 4pm and then is ultra pissed because she has to drive a whole 6 hours to the beach by herself *insert crocodile tears*.
As punishment, OUR vacation started that next Friday. This was JULY and we had it set it APRIL. What does Psycho Mom do? Decides she's going to make us drive to NEW FUCKING JERSEY rather than bring them home as planned on Friday night so we could pick them up. The phone calls we have on tape are disgusting. She uses the kids to get back for her having to fulfill HER agreement. And we have to drive an extra 300 fucking miles. She does compromise to bring them TEN FUCKING MILES CLOSER.
So, her vacation this year is about to happen and Mr. M asks for the appropriate information, address, phone, etc. And of course she throws a fit, CC's him on requests for the info from her brother, because Lord knows she can't take her kids on vacation by herself, where she calls Mr. M dickhead (knowing that we are going back to court in 2 weeks!!!) and then sends another e-mail with this:
"i sincerely hope you're not going to try to mess with my vacation this year like you did last year. Especially since we'll both be testifying on the 30th, not a smart move two years in a row."
IS SHE FUCKING NUTS? We didn't take a single HOUR out of her fucking vacation! Not to mention, she DIDN'T EVEN STAY THERE WITH THE KIDS, nope, she went back to Philly and left them with her fucking parents for 4 days! If there is one person that deserves to be tortured to death, it's this woman and God I want to fucking do it myself.
Not to mention the summer negotiations that are going on. First it's let's do two weeks on and off, then I'll switch weekends, the week on and off, and NOW three weeks on and off, WHY, because she has a leased car and can't afford to drive every week. Of course last year when Mr. M was recommended to have them three weeks and then one week with her that WAS TOO HARD ON THE KIDS. Now it's about the money, which is nice to have in writing for the court to see.....
Psycho Mom says she will come pick up the boys at our home so she can see where they live and head to the beach with them. She is supposed to be here at 9am. Instead she decides to call the police and say we are holding the kids hostage because we now won't drop them off in Philly when we have in WRITING that she is coming to get them. She then goes on the rampage and gets HER FAMILY to call and leave threatening voicemails wherein they supposedly have the district attorneys from two different counties driving down with police backup to get the kids *insert rolleyes here*. Of course it's all a bluff and she has to get off her fatass and come get the kids herself, she gets here around 4pm and then is ultra pissed because she has to drive a whole 6 hours to the beach by herself *insert crocodile tears*.
As punishment, OUR vacation started that next Friday. This was JULY and we had it set it APRIL. What does Psycho Mom do? Decides she's going to make us drive to NEW FUCKING JERSEY rather than bring them home as planned on Friday night so we could pick them up. The phone calls we have on tape are disgusting. She uses the kids to get back for her having to fulfill HER agreement. And we have to drive an extra 300 fucking miles. She does compromise to bring them TEN FUCKING MILES CLOSER.
So, her vacation this year is about to happen and Mr. M asks for the appropriate information, address, phone, etc. And of course she throws a fit, CC's him on requests for the info from her brother, because Lord knows she can't take her kids on vacation by herself, where she calls Mr. M dickhead (knowing that we are going back to court in 2 weeks!!!) and then sends another e-mail with this:
"i sincerely hope you're not going to try to mess with my vacation this year like you did last year. Especially since we'll both be testifying on the 30th, not a smart move two years in a row."
IS SHE FUCKING NUTS? We didn't take a single HOUR out of her fucking vacation! Not to mention, she DIDN'T EVEN STAY THERE WITH THE KIDS, nope, she went back to Philly and left them with her fucking parents for 4 days! If there is one person that deserves to be tortured to death, it's this woman and God I want to fucking do it myself.
Not to mention the summer negotiations that are going on. First it's let's do two weeks on and off, then I'll switch weekends, the week on and off, and NOW three weeks on and off, WHY, because she has a leased car and can't afford to drive every week. Of course last year when Mr. M was recommended to have them three weeks and then one week with her that WAS TOO HARD ON THE KIDS. Now it's about the money, which is nice to have in writing for the court to see.....
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
The perils of ESL
Received in an e-mail requesting me to sign up for a new e-mail list:
I hardly recommend you sign-up for my list now!
That's quite an endorsement.....
I hardly recommend you sign-up for my list now!
That's quite an endorsement.....
Monday, May 22, 2006
I'm a firm believer
...in fate. Don't get me wrong, I believe in free will, but I believe things happen for a reason and I have no regrets on past decisions because I am where I am because of those decisions.
At the moment we are trying to get out of an offer we put on another gym, mostly because the restrictions on the business are so severe. In this franchise there is no freedom for marketing, pricing, or anything else. And unfortunately they are the largest franchise, with gyms less than 3 miles apart, which makes it all the more difficult to build a large membership.
So as we are trying to get out of this contract, we are looking at creating something from the ground up. And we stumble upon a lease deal that is absofuckinglutely amazing. But we can't do it right now, we need time. I hate waiting.....
At the moment we are trying to get out of an offer we put on another gym, mostly because the restrictions on the business are so severe. In this franchise there is no freedom for marketing, pricing, or anything else. And unfortunately they are the largest franchise, with gyms less than 3 miles apart, which makes it all the more difficult to build a large membership.
So as we are trying to get out of this contract, we are looking at creating something from the ground up. And we stumble upon a lease deal that is absofuckinglutely amazing. But we can't do it right now, we need time. I hate waiting.....
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Happy belated Mother's Day
I really haven't abandoned all of you. I think of blogging, and I read all of your blogs still, I just have no time to write.
Mr. M took me out to dinner for Mother's Day last weekend, even though we lucked out with no kids, or maybe because we had no kids. We lucked into a table at a great Italian place in Sea Isle City NJ with just enough time to shower quickly before the reservation. As we walked out the door after deciding to walk, I commented on the fact that it would likely be pouring when we left to walk home, and so Mr. M in his infinite wisdom, suggested we take the car. Which was lucky for him as we didn't realize the restaurant was BYO and so I had to send him to the liquor store, where he returned with the largest bottle of wine they had and then we wished we HAD walked. Back to our meal. We of course started with Calamari which was excellent and then we moved on to our salads. I ordered a Caesar which was absolutely huge and divine, which had whole SLICES of cheese on top. You do not understand my, our, love for cheese. I can look at cheese and orgasm. The main courses did not dissappoint either, with a stuffed tilapia for me and no clue what Mr. M had but it looked darn good.
To go along with the fare, was a lovely Italian family next to us celebrating Mother's Day with their 86 year old mother. The creepy thing was the oldest son looked exactly like STBEH's dad and his mom looked like his grandmother. Very strange. They were hilarious though. They all pitched in to buy Mom this Italian bike that was totally wicked looking, yes, I said totally wicked. They got permission to bring it into the restaurant which was quite a show. They were deliriously drunk, and after the cake and bike show, the hostess brought out shots for them. I love watching old people do shots, and especially jello shots, it's just good family fun.....
Mr. M took me out to dinner for Mother's Day last weekend, even though we lucked out with no kids, or maybe because we had no kids. We lucked into a table at a great Italian place in Sea Isle City NJ with just enough time to shower quickly before the reservation. As we walked out the door after deciding to walk, I commented on the fact that it would likely be pouring when we left to walk home, and so Mr. M in his infinite wisdom, suggested we take the car. Which was lucky for him as we didn't realize the restaurant was BYO and so I had to send him to the liquor store, where he returned with the largest bottle of wine they had and then we wished we HAD walked. Back to our meal. We of course started with Calamari which was excellent and then we moved on to our salads. I ordered a Caesar which was absolutely huge and divine, which had whole SLICES of cheese on top. You do not understand my, our, love for cheese. I can look at cheese and orgasm. The main courses did not dissappoint either, with a stuffed tilapia for me and no clue what Mr. M had but it looked darn good.
To go along with the fare, was a lovely Italian family next to us celebrating Mother's Day with their 86 year old mother. The creepy thing was the oldest son looked exactly like STBEH's dad and his mom looked like his grandmother. Very strange. They were hilarious though. They all pitched in to buy Mom this Italian bike that was totally wicked looking, yes, I said totally wicked. They got permission to bring it into the restaurant which was quite a show. They were deliriously drunk, and after the cake and bike show, the hostess brought out shots for them. I love watching old people do shots, and especially jello shots, it's just good family fun.....
Friday, May 12, 2006
Get outside
I'll be the first to admit, I think my kids are the shit. Yes, they are cuter, smarter, funnier, and behave a thousand times better than yours. There, I said it. They have their moments, but they pick up after themselves, can always find something to do, do chores and homework with gusto, and always have extra hugs for their Mom.
Sometimes this is too much to handle. While most parents have to force their kids outside and away from the video games, I have to force mine inside. While most parents have to send their kid to their bedroom three times to clean it, mine head over to my room to make my bed once they are done with theirs. My kids want to help make dinner every night and then fight over who gets to wash the table and who gets to put the dishes in the dishwasher. Mr. M has to set limits and NOT allow them in the kitchen so they don't drive us nuts. They are already begging for soccer camp again and all the other activities for the summer. My son is already itching to go to first grade. And occassionally I have to actually tell them to get out of my face because I've received too many kisses today. Damn they are cute though.....
Sometimes this is too much to handle. While most parents have to force their kids outside and away from the video games, I have to force mine inside. While most parents have to send their kid to their bedroom three times to clean it, mine head over to my room to make my bed once they are done with theirs. My kids want to help make dinner every night and then fight over who gets to wash the table and who gets to put the dishes in the dishwasher. Mr. M has to set limits and NOT allow them in the kitchen so they don't drive us nuts. They are already begging for soccer camp again and all the other activities for the summer. My son is already itching to go to first grade. And occassionally I have to actually tell them to get out of my face because I've received too many kisses today. Damn they are cute though.....
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Tiddlywinks
1. Tiddlywinks was the name of the bar that my dad's last girlfriend lived above. I think I was ten. She married one of his friends. That happened a lot to my dad.
2. Today my dad had to have one of their dogs put down, finally. After living on the bathroom floor for almost a month she stopped eating and so he made the decision. I didn't call the house, no way I want to hear him crying.
3. I'm exhausted. Fucking exhausted. If Mr. M touches me tonight he will lose an appendage.
4. Our franchise meeting went well on Monday, it was awesome meeting all the other owners, and finding some new drinking conference buddies. Hehe.
5. Since I missed my drunken pedicure party I went over to the mom's house yesterday for a private party. I ordered way too much stuff. But I gotta say, I LOVE the Mary Kay foundation. I never tried it before, mostly because everytime I try new makeup I always end up going straight back to Cover Girl, so I usually just experiment with lipsticks. But it's truly great, I like it way better than Cover Girl. Not sure I'm fond of the tube packaging, but we'll see.
6. Fingers, legs, penises, etc, crossed would be helpful for some luck and help making decisions.....
2. Today my dad had to have one of their dogs put down, finally. After living on the bathroom floor for almost a month she stopped eating and so he made the decision. I didn't call the house, no way I want to hear him crying.
3. I'm exhausted. Fucking exhausted. If Mr. M touches me tonight he will lose an appendage.
4. Our franchise meeting went well on Monday, it was awesome meeting all the other owners, and finding some new drinking conference buddies. Hehe.
5. Since I missed my drunken pedicure party I went over to the mom's house yesterday for a private party. I ordered way too much stuff. But I gotta say, I LOVE the Mary Kay foundation. I never tried it before, mostly because everytime I try new makeup I always end up going straight back to Cover Girl, so I usually just experiment with lipsticks. But it's truly great, I like it way better than Cover Girl. Not sure I'm fond of the tube packaging, but we'll see.
6. Fingers, legs, penises, etc, crossed would be helpful for some luck and help making decisions.....
Thursday, May 04, 2006
My effort to shield the children from scary TV!
I have a pretty quick remote-controller thumb. So when something comes on with what I perceive to be "objectionable content" where the children are concerned, I'm lightning quick when flipping to some family or children's channel. *SNAP* we are TVLAND. *SNAP* we are NICK. *SNAP* we are Animal Planet.
Tonight, the kids were allowed to stay up a little late. Our usual and customary re-run of Law and Order opened and this particular episode opened with someone shot-dead in the same room as some woman hanging from a pipe. *SNAP* we go to TVLAND where Little House On The Prairie is on. Yessireeeee... more remote control genius from Mister-M.
The scene that we happened upon for Little House was one where the cranky old bastard first yells at the poor, helpless little girls, who hide... while crotchety old cooter stuffs a litter of puppies into a burlap sack, weighs it down with a rock, and tosses it in a lake where they promptly sink to the bottom.
Pure genius I am...
Tonight, the kids were allowed to stay up a little late. Our usual and customary re-run of Law and Order opened and this particular episode opened with someone shot-dead in the same room as some woman hanging from a pipe. *SNAP* we go to TVLAND where Little House On The Prairie is on. Yessireeeee... more remote control genius from Mister-M.
The scene that we happened upon for Little House was one where the cranky old bastard first yells at the poor, helpless little girls, who hide... while crotchety old cooter stuffs a litter of puppies into a burlap sack, weighs it down with a rock, and tosses it in a lake where they promptly sink to the bottom.
Pure genius I am...
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
When it all comes together
Today's code words:
Greg ROI
Yeast Infection
George Hamilton
I had NO IDEA GEORGE HAMILTON WAS HEADING THE PARADE FOR ASSHOLE BLOSSOM, errr, I mean Apple Blossom. Holy shit! I lourve George with all my heart. I can't wait to see him!
Also, rumor has is that Greg has a yeast infection, I'll update as needed.....
Greg ROI
Yeast Infection
George Hamilton
I had NO IDEA GEORGE HAMILTON WAS HEADING THE PARADE FOR ASSHOLE BLOSSOM, errr, I mean Apple Blossom. Holy shit! I lourve George with all my heart. I can't wait to see him!
Also, rumor has is that Greg has a yeast infection, I'll update as needed.....
Monday, May 01, 2006
Is it a full moon?
The expo was interesting, they always are. We ended up getting a fairly decent position, with a double space because they didn't sell the last two. It was perfect since we brought equipment and weighted hula hoops for attendees to try. Some highlights:
Diagonally across from us was a pole dancing stand. With the whitest trash there. The sad thing was NONE of them could actually use the thing. The funnier thing was there was ANOTHER pole dancing company (actually they did all kinds of dancing) at the other end of the show, and the head guy, a gorgeous black guy, came over and was doing all kinds of moves to show these girls, lol. Too funny.
Directly next to them and right across from us was one of those shady vendors. There's always one. You walk by and all they want you to do is fill out a contest entry form for something ridiculous, like a Lexus. That's it, they don't tell you anything, don't try to sell you anything, and won't tell you who the company is. They of course have three gorgeous women manning the booth. They are all 21-23 at most, and wear very provocative clothing and enough makeup for all 10,000 attendees. I could have broken a board on the one girl's ass. No joke.
The psychic. I thought her outfit was sparkly from behind, it was downright scary from the front. Sequins outlined her eyes, I don't think I need to say more.
The German lady with one eye who came back 6 times for our free samples of Quaker rice snacks.
The Men of the Cave. Wow. We never laughed so hard in our lives. They were shoving women's heads right into their crotches.
Our favorite attendee who wanted to talk to one of the other owners Sat morning before she arrived. "When is that wench going to get here?" Mr. M and I were rolling on the floor.
Other than those highlights it was fun. I got to meet the other 3 closest franchise owners, plus made a lot of contacts for cross marketing and some fun classes to add to the gym. There weren't enough attendees from my area to make it worthwhile as a vendor again, I'd rather go as an attendee to make contacts, but we had a lot of fun. I spoke a lot to one of the women beside us, she was really nice and we are going to put some of her products in the gym. We figured out we live very similar lives, they live in NJ and spend 2-3 days a week over in PA right near where we stay. We were commiserating about gas prices, lol.
No traveling this weekend as it is once again time for the Apple Blossom Festival, or as my son pronounces it, Asshole Blossom.....
Diagonally across from us was a pole dancing stand. With the whitest trash there. The sad thing was NONE of them could actually use the thing. The funnier thing was there was ANOTHER pole dancing company (actually they did all kinds of dancing) at the other end of the show, and the head guy, a gorgeous black guy, came over and was doing all kinds of moves to show these girls, lol. Too funny.
Directly next to them and right across from us was one of those shady vendors. There's always one. You walk by and all they want you to do is fill out a contest entry form for something ridiculous, like a Lexus. That's it, they don't tell you anything, don't try to sell you anything, and won't tell you who the company is. They of course have three gorgeous women manning the booth. They are all 21-23 at most, and wear very provocative clothing and enough makeup for all 10,000 attendees. I could have broken a board on the one girl's ass. No joke.
The psychic. I thought her outfit was sparkly from behind, it was downright scary from the front. Sequins outlined her eyes, I don't think I need to say more.
The German lady with one eye who came back 6 times for our free samples of Quaker rice snacks.
The Men of the Cave. Wow. We never laughed so hard in our lives. They were shoving women's heads right into their crotches.
Our favorite attendee who wanted to talk to one of the other owners Sat morning before she arrived. "When is that wench going to get here?" Mr. M and I were rolling on the floor.
Other than those highlights it was fun. I got to meet the other 3 closest franchise owners, plus made a lot of contacts for cross marketing and some fun classes to add to the gym. There weren't enough attendees from my area to make it worthwhile as a vendor again, I'd rather go as an attendee to make contacts, but we had a lot of fun. I spoke a lot to one of the women beside us, she was really nice and we are going to put some of her products in the gym. We figured out we live very similar lives, they live in NJ and spend 2-3 days a week over in PA right near where we stay. We were commiserating about gas prices, lol.
No traveling this weekend as it is once again time for the Apple Blossom Festival, or as my son pronounces it, Asshole Blossom.....
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