I love my children with all my heart. I love planning trips for them, whether it's just the museum in town, or NYC that they've been waiting for for over 2 years. I love taking them to the movies, and out to lunch. I love buying them little things when I travel to let them know I was thinking of them while so far away. And I don't know where this comes from.
I never saw a movie with my mother or father. I never sat in a real restaurant with them. I never went to the mall with them, never a single museum. We never went on vacation. Girl talks? HAH! When I needed advice, I never got it, when I made decisions on my own I got ridiculed.
It's weird when my daughter asks to spend more time with me, that she actually loves me, and appreciates my judgment and knowledge. She knows she can talk to me, and my son still wants to cuddle. I can't remember a single hug or kiss from my parents when I was a child. Not one.....
Monday, July 31, 2006
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Watching, waiting, worrying...
There are so many things about which I could write that would describe how horrible I feel about certain circumstances regarding my ongoing custody battle and associated relationshit with my Ex. So, so many.
Few make me more mixed up with sadness, anger, and worry than those which truly directly impact my sons (as if any of them don't, but you'll see where I'm going with this).
My sons are very handsome. Fun, friendly - and while they have their less-than desirable moments, it is predominantly due to the complete lack of discipline and general care provided my Ex. Now, my wife is an undisciplined, extremely overweight sick individual. Her and her family are working as if it's normal to instill these features in my children and it is what drives my fight to obtain primary custody of them.
Tonight's subject is food. The Ex doesn't make a point of cooking decent meals. Everything is processed foods, fast food... in my oldest son's own words Mom doesn't like to take the time to cook long meals. She just likes making the fast stuff. I do not exaggerate when I tell you that their diet consists mainly of things that they love... pizza (sometimes twice per week) burgers, chicken nuggets, hot dogs. I guess occasionally pasta of some sort. Lather, rinse, repeat. I know this because I ask them. Now, this is not to say that every meal with us is the picture of health. We do have pizza from time to time. We do have burgers from time to time. It's not every week and it's not more than once in any given week. We enjoy cooking and make an effort to do "normal" meals. Pork, beef, rice, veggies when I can find a way to get them to eat them... normal portions. We limit snacking to after dinner and only if they've eaten most of their meal and/or tried some new food (sometimes both).
The way the kids eat has always been an issue between us. She was a habitual snacker and snack giver. It was always breakfast, snack. Lunch, snack. Snack, snack. Dinner, snack. Then snack. Now that we are apart, I'm sure that this circumstance continues and while my youngest is still long and lean, my oldest is overweight. He has always been big for his age, but he has reached a point where his height isn't keeping up with his weight. In February of 2005, he weighted 80-pounds and my concern was expressed to the pediatrician. He agreed. She did nothing about it. 1-year later, he was 107-pounds. He still manages to wear it well because he is but a few inches shy of 5-feet tall (at 7-years old) but he is overweight by quite a lot. His BMI is somewhere approaching 26. It should be 14-17. His normal weight for his age and height should be somewhere between 54 and 73 pounds. He is currently 108 which is down from the 110 he was before summer... and it's not coincidentally (in my mind) that it's because of the increased amount of time he currently spends with me until this court mess is over.
Tonight was exchange night. It is time for them to go back to her for two weeks. That's a stressful enough time for me as it is. So, we get to the agreed upon exchange point and it's around dinner time. I have all 4 children with me (Queen's two and my two). My ex is there almost at the exact same time and after hugs and kisses immediately head to mom.
We all decide to eat at the Wendy's located at our pit stop and make a point of sitting at tables next to one another so the children can jabber away for their final few moments together. Ex takes the kids to order and so I order only for the Queen's pair. Kids meals... chicken fingers with the usual sides and a lowfat chocolate milk for each. We sit and wait for the others to join us. Ex comes back with their meals... FULL ADULT sized burgers, LARGE fries, and LARGE sodas as well as the promise of frosties afterwards and candy before they head back towards their PA home. I'm flabbergasted but as always, hesitate to say anything as I cannot risk a scene being caused in a public place. So I bite my lip. However, it gets worse. As my 5-year old "decides" he isn't eating anything but the fries and drinking his soda (prior to getting his frosty and candy anyway), the Ex gives the second full-sized, adult burger to my oldest. I lodge a mild protest and yet she still gives it to him.
A moment presents itself where she has to leave the table and I tell my son, Look, Son1, we've been over how unhealthy fast food is. I know we're all on the road and sometimes it's the easiest option, but you've already had one grown up burger and you're not going to eat the second. Put it down and give it to me. I further explain to him that it isn't his fault and he seems to truly understand that. I tell him that he has his fries and it appears that mom is going to get him a snack, too... so eating another burger is just not going to make his stomach feel good at all - and he turns it over.
This child is headed for a host of health problems if I cannot win custody of them or, by some miracle, she wakes up to realize that there is more to be concerned with in this world than herself. His brother will likely soon follow. It astounds me just how clearly she doesn't give a shit about these kids because no amount of begging, pleading, and praying has done anything to sway her to start considering the long-term impact of her sheer and utter laziness and lack of discipline. And all I can do it sit back and watch it happen in front of my face.
I cannot put into words how horrible this makes me feel to my very core. I just needed to let this episode out tonight because it has been on my mind from the moment I left the exchange point at 6PM.
Few make me more mixed up with sadness, anger, and worry than those which truly directly impact my sons (as if any of them don't, but you'll see where I'm going with this).
My sons are very handsome. Fun, friendly - and while they have their less-than desirable moments, it is predominantly due to the complete lack of discipline and general care provided my Ex. Now, my wife is an undisciplined, extremely overweight sick individual. Her and her family are working as if it's normal to instill these features in my children and it is what drives my fight to obtain primary custody of them.
Tonight's subject is food. The Ex doesn't make a point of cooking decent meals. Everything is processed foods, fast food... in my oldest son's own words Mom doesn't like to take the time to cook long meals. She just likes making the fast stuff. I do not exaggerate when I tell you that their diet consists mainly of things that they love... pizza (sometimes twice per week) burgers, chicken nuggets, hot dogs. I guess occasionally pasta of some sort. Lather, rinse, repeat. I know this because I ask them. Now, this is not to say that every meal with us is the picture of health. We do have pizza from time to time. We do have burgers from time to time. It's not every week and it's not more than once in any given week. We enjoy cooking and make an effort to do "normal" meals. Pork, beef, rice, veggies when I can find a way to get them to eat them... normal portions. We limit snacking to after dinner and only if they've eaten most of their meal and/or tried some new food (sometimes both).
The way the kids eat has always been an issue between us. She was a habitual snacker and snack giver. It was always breakfast, snack. Lunch, snack. Snack, snack. Dinner, snack. Then snack. Now that we are apart, I'm sure that this circumstance continues and while my youngest is still long and lean, my oldest is overweight. He has always been big for his age, but he has reached a point where his height isn't keeping up with his weight. In February of 2005, he weighted 80-pounds and my concern was expressed to the pediatrician. He agreed. She did nothing about it. 1-year later, he was 107-pounds. He still manages to wear it well because he is but a few inches shy of 5-feet tall (at 7-years old) but he is overweight by quite a lot. His BMI is somewhere approaching 26. It should be 14-17. His normal weight for his age and height should be somewhere between 54 and 73 pounds. He is currently 108 which is down from the 110 he was before summer... and it's not coincidentally (in my mind) that it's because of the increased amount of time he currently spends with me until this court mess is over.
Tonight was exchange night. It is time for them to go back to her for two weeks. That's a stressful enough time for me as it is. So, we get to the agreed upon exchange point and it's around dinner time. I have all 4 children with me (Queen's two and my two). My ex is there almost at the exact same time and after hugs and kisses immediately head to mom.
We all decide to eat at the Wendy's located at our pit stop and make a point of sitting at tables next to one another so the children can jabber away for their final few moments together. Ex takes the kids to order and so I order only for the Queen's pair. Kids meals... chicken fingers with the usual sides and a lowfat chocolate milk for each. We sit and wait for the others to join us. Ex comes back with their meals... FULL ADULT sized burgers, LARGE fries, and LARGE sodas as well as the promise of frosties afterwards and candy before they head back towards their PA home. I'm flabbergasted but as always, hesitate to say anything as I cannot risk a scene being caused in a public place. So I bite my lip. However, it gets worse. As my 5-year old "decides" he isn't eating anything but the fries and drinking his soda (prior to getting his frosty and candy anyway), the Ex gives the second full-sized, adult burger to my oldest. I lodge a mild protest and yet she still gives it to him.
A moment presents itself where she has to leave the table and I tell my son, Look, Son1, we've been over how unhealthy fast food is. I know we're all on the road and sometimes it's the easiest option, but you've already had one grown up burger and you're not going to eat the second. Put it down and give it to me. I further explain to him that it isn't his fault and he seems to truly understand that. I tell him that he has his fries and it appears that mom is going to get him a snack, too... so eating another burger is just not going to make his stomach feel good at all - and he turns it over.
This child is headed for a host of health problems if I cannot win custody of them or, by some miracle, she wakes up to realize that there is more to be concerned with in this world than herself. His brother will likely soon follow. It astounds me just how clearly she doesn't give a shit about these kids because no amount of begging, pleading, and praying has done anything to sway her to start considering the long-term impact of her sheer and utter laziness and lack of discipline. And all I can do it sit back and watch it happen in front of my face.
I cannot put into words how horrible this makes me feel to my very core. I just needed to let this episode out tonight because it has been on my mind from the moment I left the exchange point at 6PM.
Mister-M
Monday, July 24, 2006
I'm not all there
Wow, I'm losing my mind. Okay, so here is another post. Don't ask what happened to the first. Apparently I wrote it two weeks ago and just didn't remember. Mr. M thinks I'm on drugs.
So anyway, here are two reasons why I love Mr. M.
Last night:
Queen: Shit, I think I just lost a booger on the bed.
Mr. M: What?
Q: I think I lost a booger, no idea where it went.
M: Ah, that's okay, it'll turn up.
This evening in an IM:
Q: Okay I need to know who this is tonight because it's disgusting me, but someone left a booger on the couch again.
M: I think I know who it is, just leave it.
Q: Oh I planned on it.
This evening when the kids got home after finding out who the culprit was:
M: Now grab a tissue and wipe it up.
Kid's identity protected for privacy: Ewww, gross (gags as kid wipes it up)
M: See, now how do you think Q feels when she has to clean it up? If it happens again you lose your snack, if I even see your finger in your nose without a tissue you lose your snack. You wanna be a disgusting booger picker, fine, just use a tissue, not the couch.
M to Q in the kitchen: That was priceless, gagging was perfect.....
So anyway, here are two reasons why I love Mr. M.
Last night:
Queen: Shit, I think I just lost a booger on the bed.
Mr. M: What?
Q: I think I lost a booger, no idea where it went.
M: Ah, that's okay, it'll turn up.
This evening in an IM:
Q: Okay I need to know who this is tonight because it's disgusting me, but someone left a booger on the couch again.
M: I think I know who it is, just leave it.
Q: Oh I planned on it.
This evening when the kids got home after finding out who the culprit was:
M: Now grab a tissue and wipe it up.
Kid's identity protected for privacy: Ewww, gross (gags as kid wipes it up)
M: See, now how do you think Q feels when she has to clean it up? If it happens again you lose your snack, if I even see your finger in your nose without a tissue you lose your snack. You wanna be a disgusting booger picker, fine, just use a tissue, not the couch.
M to Q in the kitchen: That was priceless, gagging was perfect.....
Perfume for Hummer lovers...
Does it have that new cock smell?
The kids made it home okay, even though their bus was 30 minutes late because they lost a kid and couldn't find him. I was really starting to worry because Mr. M's boys bus was already there, they ended up having time to hit the grocery store and we made it home at the exact same time.....
The kids made it home okay, even though their bus was 30 minutes late because they lost a kid and couldn't find him. I was really starting to worry because Mr. M's boys bus was already there, they ended up having time to hit the grocery store and we made it home at the exact same time.....
I'm a wreck
I dropped the kids off at camp this morning for their first ever, bus trip. They are visiting the new waterpark and couldn't be more excited. However, the only thing going through my mind are all the things that could happen. It's an hour long bus trip, the longest they've ever done, and school buses still scare me. I don't understand why they do not have safety belts. I just don't. I don't do well with buses to begin with because I had a step sister get killed by one when I was in first grade. So this is very nerve wracking for me. I also don't even want to know how they are going to watch about 200 kids at the pool since they have 4 school camps going together today. The waterpark is inside and outside, and there are certainly rides that there is no way I would let them go on by themselves, and how many times and how comfortable are the teachers really going to be going on them with them? I can't wait until 5:30 arrives.....
Sunday, July 09, 2006
I really am alive
Yea, I know, being in business, as I remember from way back when, can sometimes run your life in entirely different directions than you want. And so, here I am. Alive. Really.
First, we fired our manager. An imcompetent, negative, bitch. Everyone is happy except for two of her friends. They'll get over it. And if not, they are still in their contract, so they can fuck themselves, yeehaw! But seriously. It was a nerve wracking week because I was SUPPOSED TO COME HOME. But then I had to stay, get ads out and hope that I could get warm, competent bodies in to train so that I could eventually get home again.
I ended up with oh, about 12 competent people who wanted a job, and only enough room to hire three. Yea, when it rains, it really fucking does pour. But if there is one thing I've learned in my life, things happen for a reason. The three ladies we hired are not only excited, but peppy, and want to earn a lot of money. That's important in sales. Really important. One is also an ex pilates, cardio kickboxing coach. She's going to do well I think.
After a rather long 12 hour day the week before last, one of the new girls took the Prince and Princess next door for dinner. They brought back the left overs for me to eat when we got home, but all I wanted to do when we walked into the apartment was wash my face and change clothes. When I came out of the bathroom, they had set up the kitchen table with my food, utensils, napkin, candles and a GLASS OF WINE. I have the best fucking kids in the world.
Mr. M and I finally got an afternoon and evening to ourselves yesterday, so we took the chance to see Pirates of the Caribbean and then The Devil Wears Prada. I suggest you not read further if you haven't seen either one.
Mr. M heard on some jacked up radio station that you HAD to stay until the end of the credits after Pirates to see the surprise at the end. Um yea, what a waste of 30 minutes of my life. Seriously, 30 fucking minutes of credits. To see a dog, sitting in a chair with a large bone in his mouth. I'm going to stab Mr. M for making me stay.
The Devil Wears Prada, eh, waste of $19. I read the book, and I knew they changed a lot of it since I saw an interview, but the changes were completely fucking stupid. In case you didn't read the book: Lilly is a Russian literature student who is an alcoholic, not a fucking stupid photographer with no role. In the book she ends up getting into a car accident and coma and THAT is the heart wrenching part when Andrea decides to stay in Paris rather than going home to her best friend who COULD DIE. Emily had mono and couldn't make it to Paris, Andrea didn't fire her. It was a stupid fucking plot change. The emotional part with the divorce crap, yea, didn't happen and WOULDN'T with that boss. They tried to make Andrea too self sufficient in the movie when that's not who she was supposed to be. Like in the book when she went to Paris, the makeup dept and fashion editors at Runway had to outline everything she could wear and how to do makeup with each outfit, and in the movie she just did it all on her own, like she was suddenly one of them. They missed the whole point of the book and relationships. The ending was not as emotionally touching as the book. In the book she tells Miranda to fuck off after she realizes she doesn't want to be like her, and she earns her way writing for other magazines ON HER OWN. NOT because Miranda says she should be hired. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb...
First, we fired our manager. An imcompetent, negative, bitch. Everyone is happy except for two of her friends. They'll get over it. And if not, they are still in their contract, so they can fuck themselves, yeehaw! But seriously. It was a nerve wracking week because I was SUPPOSED TO COME HOME. But then I had to stay, get ads out and hope that I could get warm, competent bodies in to train so that I could eventually get home again.
I ended up with oh, about 12 competent people who wanted a job, and only enough room to hire three. Yea, when it rains, it really fucking does pour. But if there is one thing I've learned in my life, things happen for a reason. The three ladies we hired are not only excited, but peppy, and want to earn a lot of money. That's important in sales. Really important. One is also an ex pilates, cardio kickboxing coach. She's going to do well I think.
After a rather long 12 hour day the week before last, one of the new girls took the Prince and Princess next door for dinner. They brought back the left overs for me to eat when we got home, but all I wanted to do when we walked into the apartment was wash my face and change clothes. When I came out of the bathroom, they had set up the kitchen table with my food, utensils, napkin, candles and a GLASS OF WINE. I have the best fucking kids in the world.
Mr. M and I finally got an afternoon and evening to ourselves yesterday, so we took the chance to see Pirates of the Caribbean and then The Devil Wears Prada. I suggest you not read further if you haven't seen either one.
Mr. M heard on some jacked up radio station that you HAD to stay until the end of the credits after Pirates to see the surprise at the end. Um yea, what a waste of 30 minutes of my life. Seriously, 30 fucking minutes of credits. To see a dog, sitting in a chair with a large bone in his mouth. I'm going to stab Mr. M for making me stay.
The Devil Wears Prada, eh, waste of $19. I read the book, and I knew they changed a lot of it since I saw an interview, but the changes were completely fucking stupid. In case you didn't read the book: Lilly is a Russian literature student who is an alcoholic, not a fucking stupid photographer with no role. In the book she ends up getting into a car accident and coma and THAT is the heart wrenching part when Andrea decides to stay in Paris rather than going home to her best friend who COULD DIE. Emily had mono and couldn't make it to Paris, Andrea didn't fire her. It was a stupid fucking plot change. The emotional part with the divorce crap, yea, didn't happen and WOULDN'T with that boss. They tried to make Andrea too self sufficient in the movie when that's not who she was supposed to be. Like in the book when she went to Paris, the makeup dept and fashion editors at Runway had to outline everything she could wear and how to do makeup with each outfit, and in the movie she just did it all on her own, like she was suddenly one of them. They missed the whole point of the book and relationships. The ending was not as emotionally touching as the book. In the book she tells Miranda to fuck off after she realizes she doesn't want to be like her, and she earns her way writing for other magazines ON HER OWN. NOT because Miranda says she should be hired. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb...
Saturday, July 01, 2006
New Money-Making Venture: Well-Behaved Children
As if you'll believe this actually happened...
Now, you're all probably aware that, with the occasional few usual and customary glitches from time-to-time, we're pretty proud of how our children handle themselves in all areas of life. We can take them out to dinner, go to parties, go to the beach, travel, visit, go to school... etc. etc. etc.
After this experience yesterday, I think we can parlay that into a money-making venture.
After Court Date #2 came to a close yesterday (blogging your update later), it was time to come home. We had the entire crew of 4 and were rolling down the PA Turnpike when it was time to stop for "road dinner" and we decided to do our usual stop at Sbarrros at or about the Peter J. Camille (sic) rest stop at the 302 mile marker.
We pick a place to sit and ask the kids to sit down, keep the "restaurant voice level" in place, and we were going to go order the pizza and get the drinks. We walk away. Monitoring them from afar, we see them chatting and laughing and essentially following the orders we left for them. Pizza gets ordered, we snag the drinks, and we're off to the table... Queen is a few feet ahead of me. As we near the table, I am stopped by an older woman, perhaps in her 50s or 60s who tells me, "We just wanted to tell you that you have the most well-behaved children we have ever encountered in our lives. We sat there at the table next to them and thoroughly enjoyed watching them and listening to them talk and laugh."
I'm standing there dumbfounded for just a second or two when I offer a smile, that ridiculous fake laugh that we all do from time to time and reply, "Oh, goodness, thank you so much."
"You're very welcome" comes her reply as she moves along and her husband is not far behind. He then stops me, reaches up towards my chest and while tucking something into my dress-shirt pocket, says, "You have a most beautiful, well-behaved family, just beautiful."
I simultaneously thank him and look down into my pocket when I see it... he stuffed a $10 bill into my shirt pocket! I laughed, turned as he was walking away and said, "Wait, no, I mean, thank you but this is not necessary." He waves me off and continues to walk away, probably never to be seen again.
Now, I've made money doing a number of tasks in my lifetime. I've never been "tipped" at a restaurant by patrons because I have well-behaved children. These kids have their moments as you can imagine with their ages being 5, 6, 7, and 7. But overall, I don't think I'd trade them for anyone else's.
Now that I know that I can make money off of their behavior... you may see me travelling from rest-stop to rest-stop all across the country turning that behavior into millions!
Queen nearly choked on her food. She didn't see a thing and I sit down with this bizarre grin on my face and start with You're not going to believe what just happened... When she sees the $10-spot in my shirt pocket and hears the story...
Get those kids settled down and MAKE MONEY! Yeah, good luck with that!
~Mister-M
Now, you're all probably aware that, with the occasional few usual and customary glitches from time-to-time, we're pretty proud of how our children handle themselves in all areas of life. We can take them out to dinner, go to parties, go to the beach, travel, visit, go to school... etc. etc. etc.
After this experience yesterday, I think we can parlay that into a money-making venture.
After Court Date #2 came to a close yesterday (blogging your update later), it was time to come home. We had the entire crew of 4 and were rolling down the PA Turnpike when it was time to stop for "road dinner" and we decided to do our usual stop at Sbarrros at or about the Peter J. Camille (sic) rest stop at the 302 mile marker.
We pick a place to sit and ask the kids to sit down, keep the "restaurant voice level" in place, and we were going to go order the pizza and get the drinks. We walk away. Monitoring them from afar, we see them chatting and laughing and essentially following the orders we left for them. Pizza gets ordered, we snag the drinks, and we're off to the table... Queen is a few feet ahead of me. As we near the table, I am stopped by an older woman, perhaps in her 50s or 60s who tells me, "We just wanted to tell you that you have the most well-behaved children we have ever encountered in our lives. We sat there at the table next to them and thoroughly enjoyed watching them and listening to them talk and laugh."
I'm standing there dumbfounded for just a second or two when I offer a smile, that ridiculous fake laugh that we all do from time to time and reply, "Oh, goodness, thank you so much."
"You're very welcome" comes her reply as she moves along and her husband is not far behind. He then stops me, reaches up towards my chest and while tucking something into my dress-shirt pocket, says, "You have a most beautiful, well-behaved family, just beautiful."
I simultaneously thank him and look down into my pocket when I see it... he stuffed a $10 bill into my shirt pocket! I laughed, turned as he was walking away and said, "Wait, no, I mean, thank you but this is not necessary." He waves me off and continues to walk away, probably never to be seen again.
Now, I've made money doing a number of tasks in my lifetime. I've never been "tipped" at a restaurant by patrons because I have well-behaved children. These kids have their moments as you can imagine with their ages being 5, 6, 7, and 7. But overall, I don't think I'd trade them for anyone else's.
Now that I know that I can make money off of their behavior... you may see me travelling from rest-stop to rest-stop all across the country turning that behavior into millions!
Queen nearly choked on her food. She didn't see a thing and I sit down with this bizarre grin on my face and start with You're not going to believe what just happened... When she sees the $10-spot in my shirt pocket and hears the story...
Get those kids settled down and MAKE MONEY! Yeah, good luck with that!
~Mister-M
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