One of the characters in the show was referred to by his name: Dick.
D9: (exasperated) What kind of a name is THAT!?!?!
Mister-M: (stone-cold straight face) What kind of name is what?
D9: Dick! That guy called the other guy Dick! Why would he call him that?
I break here in the story because it is at this very moment that I am faced with several choices, some of them very easy, but I recall early childhood days where my own father would string one or more of us along with serious talk about things which we didn't really understand for his own personal enjoyment and sometimes I do the same thing. Sometimes - you just can't help yourself.
Options include:
1 - Ask your mother when she gets home. (Probably the smartest.)
2 - Explain to her that "Dick" is a slang term for the penis and typically used in a derogatory manner against others. (Probably the dumbest, not age appropriate, and most definitely inappropriate coming from a non-biological male father-figure.)
3 - Go with the "Dick is a nickname for a person named Richard" explanation. Middle ground idea, could lead to potentially dangerous discussion, but I'm willing to use this to gain some insight into her knowledge of the word "Dick."
Mister-M: Sweetie, Dick is just a nickname for Richard. That guy's name is Richard. The other guy knows him and calls him by his nickname, "Dick." Just like I have a name - Mister-M but people close to me call me M.
D9: But it isn't right! That's an awful name!
M: Sweetie, why would the nickname Dick be an awful name? It's the normal nickname for those called Richard.
D9: Well, I know that "Dick" is awful.
M: Why?
D9: Because it means bad things... like it's mean... like it's means your a bad person... or I don't like you... or you're stupid... or rotten... it's like "MISTER-M, YOU'RE A DICK!!!"
M:
It's moments like these where you regret teaching your children to "use it in a sentence so I can understand you." I go into de-escalation mode:
M: Well, darling, I don't know where you got that from, but Dick is simply a nickname for Richard.
D9: (with doubting disbelief in her voice) Well, okaaaaaaay.
I managed to deliberately avoid the opportunity to extend this bit of fun just a little by not asking where she heard it used like that, because that would have risked having to walk the path to explaining what a "dick" is and how it's used sometimes for name-calling, and that's a discussion best left to mom and dad unless there is simply no way to avoid it.
I'm still laughing at her innocence, the way she gave me an example (inaccurate, of course, just an example), "...like... Mister-M, YOU'RE A DICK!" - and my ability to remain straight-faced and "parental" through the entire exchange.
Mister-M
2 comments:
I have to say, that is pretty impressive!! lol - I would have busted out laughing, and actually have been known to do so when my 4 year old asks me strange questions like that. Thankfully, I can still lie and get away with it :)
Oh, God, ec... I learned it from my father. As a grown man, the stories I can recall him keeping a straight face while we innocently asked questions and the things he said... one of my favorites was playing Hangman with him - and his word was "smegma." I don't even want to tell you how he handled my questions about what "smegma" was - but here's the kicker - so quick on his feet he was - that it turned into a discussion about proper hygiene and keeping my pecker clean! LOL. Straight-faced he was.
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