Over heard at the Jersey Shore

Young Man With Friends on Boardwalk: Are you a safe? Because I'd love to crack your code.

In a 7/11:
Man: Here do you want your banana?
Woman: Ewww, I'm not eating a banana on the street
Cashier: (Busts out laughing) Dude.....

Happy May 24th

Today is my special day. I don't know why I love this day, it's such a mix of happiness and sadness. Today is the day I was supposed to be born, but came a full month later. Today is the day my aunt was born, a full month before me. Today is my grandparents wedding anniversary, they made it until my Grandfather died, 43 years. Today is also the anniversary of my Grandparents daughters death. She was four months old. I always knew about her. Sandra. Sandy. She had a neurological birth defect that made her blind and deaf. I worry about wanting another child. I visited her grave next to my grandparents gravesites, bought well in advance. But I never noticed the dates until high school when I was looking through a photo album. How could I be so blind? Why did I always ask why my Grandparents never celebrated their anniversary?

Mr. M has taken it upon himself to always make this day special. He has taken me to a fabulous B&B, special vacations. Today we are traveling, and have consumed 7.5 liters of Long Island Ice Teas. He also bought me a fabulous dress and a wonderful meal. He always makes me feel wonderful even if it's just making out with me in the hottub like a teenager.....

Mud slides, mmmmmmmmmm

Since the time Mr. M has been home full time, I've only wanted to stab him in the eye twice. Luckily I haven't been able to decide on which knife I wanted to use, and so he still has full vision. Since the time he has been home, I've spent probably 100 hours in our various gardens, planting, weeding, mulching, planting some more, and then dealing with the lawn where he had to hold me back from fertilizing too early and without the new spreader, and convincing me that we really, REALLY needed the $83 hose roller, because clearly, neither of us can roll our own hose. We are busy.

This weekend we decided to start a new project. Not the one I've wanted to start for two years. Nope. One we should have never started. We live on a hill. Comparatively, a small hill. We chose a lot where our children could run around with just a small risk of twisting an ankle and ending up with a pine needle in their septum, or rectum, depending on which way they fell. And so it seems completely retarded, yea, I said it, that we would start a flower bed on the part of our driveway that slants at a 30 degree angle. You can see the story here.....

I'm environmentally friendly

About every two years I start to freak out. Why? Because my computer starts s.l.o.w..i...n....g down. Now is that time. I can't open multiples of one program, it shuts down. I can't work on ten files at once. I can't look at more than two porn sites. Life sucks.

So I headed over to Gateway to see what's new. I looked everywhere including the refurbished and outlet deals, and then I noticed a little link that said "Trade In". What? Yes, I can now get credit for the sucky computer I own. Instead of my current laptop being stuffed in the drawer of the secretary, like my last one, I can actually get $121.50 for it. That's a pair of shoes people! Or a laptop upgrade.....

One of the many reasons I hate people

I'm sure by now everyone has heard of Roy Pearson and his riduculous lawsuit for $65 million over a pair of pants. I've laughed about a few lawsuits where the only thing you can wonder is about the mental ability of the person filing, such as the McDonald's coffee suit. But at least, she was injured. Mr. Pearson, is clearly mentally disturbed.

First off, he's an attorney. On top of that he's a judge. If there has never been a situation where you finally have to take into consideration that judge's are human and not UNbiased, you now have one. I've dealt with a lot of attorneys and judges, and most of the time I have not been impressed, but now I'm offically disgusted. But I shouldn't be throwing broad accusations at the entire legal system...

This isn't the first time Mr. Pearson has spent considerable amounts of time trying to use the legal system to his advantage, only to have ended up harrassing the other party. You can read an opinion on his divorce proceedings here.

Mr. Pearson is clearly one of the most disgusting people on this planet. For an $11 alteration, several settlement offers up to the amount of $12,000, he has decided his best course of action is to harass business owners and use up precious court time. Business owners who made a simple mistake, as most humans do. Courts that have real issues to deal with, like plaintiffs that have been truly harmed.

Mr. Pearson doesn't have children. He doesn't even own a car. If my biggest problem in life was a missing pair of pants, I'd be going to bed with a smile on my face every single night.....